Bullying is a serious issue. Cries to do something—anything—have triggered new legislation, school assemblies, and pressure to punish those who hurt others. The tenor of the discussion is one of grave concern mixed with moral panic. As difficult as it is to step back and gain perspective, we must do so in order to actually address the problem. As researchers, we have found that misunderstandings undermine interventions. With this in mind, we would like to offer five aspects of bullying that must be broadly understood in order to move from awareness to action.
1. “Bullies” usually aren’t the source of the problem: They’re often a symptom of the problem. Many bullies have difficulties at home or in school, and need just as much help as those who are targets of and bystanders to bullying. Bullies are often victims in other contexts who are lashing out.
2. Not all meanness and cruelty is bullying: Bullying refers to repeated psychological, social and physical aggression propagated by those who are more physically or socially powerful. Addressing the role of power is critical to combating bullying. Different strategies are needed to curb other types of meanness and cruelty, but it’s also important not to overreact. Some forms of teasing, pranking and drama are perfectly healthy, even if they look troublesome from the outside.
3. “Cyberbullying” has become an unnecessary distraction: Students consistently report that school bullying is still more common—and that it has a greater negative impact—than what happens online. Most bullying is relatively invisible to adults, but online traces make many forms of meanness and cruelty, including cyberbullying, especially visible. Thus, adults focus on the technology. Certain types of negativity do flourish online, but the Internet typically mirrors and magnifies existing dynamics. Rather than being something to blame,technology should be leveraged in order to identify those who are struggling.
4. When a child has been hurt, people want someone—or something—to blame, but rushing to prosecute purported bullies only undermines society’s ability to curb bullying. Teen suicides should prompt us to act. But enacting flawed legislation in memory or prosecuting teens’ peers shifts the onus of responsibility away from society onto individuals. Teen suicides can rarely be explained by the actions of one person. All too often, mental-health issues, struggles to fit in, parental pressure and a culture of intolerance create a deadly combination.Rather than looking for people to blame, it’s important to look for root causes and work to address those. The blame game does little to stop the cycle of violence.
5. Most anti-bullying assemblies are ineffective, and the messages of well-meaning advocates tend to fall on deaf ears. Teens don’t recognize most of the meanness and cruelty they witness or experience as bullying; they see it as drama, teasing or pranking. Students do recognize certain serious encounters as bullying, but they often lack the social, structural and educational infrastructure to make a difference. Punitive approaches (including “zero tolerance” school policies) appear reasonable but are consistently ineffective at addressing the core issue. Likewise, “tell a trusted adult” seems like a good idea, but when adults have no training in dealing with these issues, they often make things worse. There are effective programs for addressing the underlying issues; they require social-emotional learning and empathy development. Yet, putting these in place requires serious commitment in terms of money, time and community involvement. If we want to change the ecosystem, we need to invest in these long-term solutions.
There’s no doubt that bullying does serious harm, both to those who are victimized as well as to perpetrators and bystanders. Combating bullying—alongside other forms of aggression and violence—should be a social priority. But bullying is not just a youth problem. If we want to help young people, we need to put an end to adult meanness and cruelty and take responsibility for how we perpetuate problematic values and intolerance. We cannot expect youth to treat each other kindly when we accept politicians berating each other for sport, parents talking behind their neighbors’ backs, and reality TV stars becoming famous for treating each other horribly. If we want to create a kinder, braver world, we must collectively work to develop compassion, empathy and respect.
Dr. Boyd is a research fellow at the Born This Way Foundation, a senior researcher at Microsoft Research and a research assistant professor at New York University.
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