Tuesday, April 1, 2014

As popularity rises,
so does risk of being bullied


Michelle Healy, USA TODAY
12:04 a.m. EDT April 1, 2014
Adolescents are often targeted for bullying because of their appearance, sexual orientation or loner status. But not all bullying victims fit that profile.
New research suggests that as students become more popular and climb the social hierarchy of middle and high school, they are at increased risk for gossip, harassment and even physical attacks from rivals competing for status.
And the adverse consequences of that bullying — including increased depression, anxiety and anger, and decreased school attachment — are magnified the more popular the victim, according to the paper published in April's American Sociological Review.
It argues that high-status students "may have more to lose than someone who already occupies a position of relative social isolation, or perhaps (they) are more unsuspecting victims than those on the periphery, and therefore react particularly strongly."
This type of victimization is "a distinct pattern of bullying that's often not thought of as bullying" and consequently goes unaddressed, says Robert Faris, an associate professor of sociology at the University of California-Davis and study co-author.
Students not only don't think of this interaction as bullying, they also don't call it that, opting instead for "drama, talking s--- or beef," Faris says.
The new study is "a sequel" to research published in 2011 by Faris and co-author Diane Felmlee, a professor of sociology at Pennsylvania State University, which found the more popular middle and high school students became, the more likely they were to be aggressive and exhibit bullying behavior. In the follow-up, the co-authors focus on who the aggressive students are targeting and with what consequence.
Both studies rely on a longitudinal survey of 4,200 students in eighth, ninth and 10th grades, conducted at 19 public schools in three counties in North Carolina.
In interviews, students were asked to name their five best friends in the school and that information was used to create complex social maps that identified students' popularity and the social network of the schools. To create similar maps focused on victimization and aggression, students were asked to name up to five schoolmates who picked on them or were unkind to them and up to five peers whom they picked on or were mean to.
An analysis showed that among both boys and girls, if a student was is in the middle of the school social hierarchy — the 50th percentile — and moved up the social ladder to the 95th percentile, the likelihood that he or she would be victimized by his or her peers increased by more than 25%.
However, once students reached the pinnacle of the school hierarchy — the top 5% of popularity — the likelihood of being victimized plummeted. "While the climb to the top of the social ladder can be painful, the very top rung offers a safe perch above the fray," Faris says.
"We don't want to suggest that this is the only way that kids become more or less popular," he adds, "but this is one way that some kids seem to climb the (social) ladder."
The findings are in line with "what we've always suspected about bullying and known from some prior research, that bullies are in part motivated to gain social status and power over other people," says Laura Bogart, a social psychologist at Boston Children's Hospital who was not involved in the study.
Schools, educators and parents may not notice the "covert victimization" of students who seemingly "have it all," whether it's the captain of a high profile sports team or a highly involved student with lots of friends, says Susan Swearer, professor of school psychology at the University of Nebraska — Lincoln and co-director of the Bullying Research Network. She was not involved in the new study.
"But these kids, within their pairs of friendships, can be targeted as well" with significant mental health consequences, Swearer says.
Given the study's suggestion that bullying is about a wide range of students and not just limited to certain stigmatized individuals, "anti-bullying interventions that focus on the entire school are warranted more than ever," Bogart says.
Is this a problem in your school?
802-362-5448



Providing dynamic and practical anti-bullying workshops to students, staff and parents, Mike Dreiblatt teaches realistic bullying prevention strategies and best practices that can be used immediately to STOP bullying.













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Monday, March 24, 2014

Why Women Are The Worst Kind of Bullies

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Why Women Are The Worst Kind of Bullies
Ruchika TulshyanRuchika Tulshyan, Contributor
Women can be nastier bullies than men, at the workplace. What’s the best way to deal?
  
A Bully Free Zone sign - School in Berea, Ohio
A Bully Free Zone sign - School in Berea, Ohio (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

When Lady Gaga declared her hero was Emily-Anne, the 18-year-old pioneer of WeStopHate.org against teen bullying, I could completely identify. I had a flashback to my traumatic adolescent years. The memories alone made me feel like Emily-Anne could be my hero too.

However, I didn’t expect bullying to be so prevalent at the workplace. Adults are facing it pretty tough, with woman-on-woman harassment on the rise. Thirty-five percent of Americans reported being bullied at work, according to a 2010 survey by the Workplace Bullying Institute. Women make much nastier office bullies than men, says psychologist Dr. Gary Namie, co-founder of the Institute.
Workplace bullying is four times more common than sexual harassment and racial discrimination, found the same study. Girls are taught to be critical about each other from adolescence, and it’s particularly vicious among working women; from playing favourites to badmouthing colleagues. Common careers where women face bullying? Law, finance or any other job where “women feel the need to be hyper-aggressive to get ahead in a male-dominated environment,” says Dr. Namie.
Debra Falzoi, a communications coordinator who was terrorized by a female boss at a Boston University, says:
“My female bully lied and gossiped about me and others. She used all indirect tactics. I have seen men also use indirect bullying tactics, but they’re much less frequent, and they have seemed solely to protect their ego rather than proactive moves to sabotage.
Falzoi eventually quit her job after reporting the harassment. Her boss did nothing, despite multiple complaints against the same woman.
Samantha Brick, a British journalist, wrote a story titled: ‘There are downsides to looking this pretty’: Why women hate me for being beautiful. ‘ It went viral, supplemented by comments questioning her beauty. Some readers even called her “ugly as a troll.” I’m not going to debate her story, but I thought the Financial Times Weekend published the best response to the media maelstrom. The controversy showed how women sabotage the careers of other women by being unsupportive, it said. The columnist highlighted “rope ladders,” where women climb to senior positions, then promptly haul up the ladder right behind them. While some tactically avoid helping other women in their careers, others can resort to passive-agressive behavior to protect their interests.
“Women bullies will often befriend you and then air all your secrets later, in boardrooms or at office gatherings. I’ve had patients that just can’t trust again after being humiliated like that at work,” says Dr. Namie. The problem persists, as there are no anti-bullying ethics or law in practice, unlike legal protection against sexual harassment or racial discrimination. Less than one percent of co-workers will stand up when they see their colleagues tormented, fearing their own jobs.
There’s only one truly effective way to report workplace bullying: treat it like a business problem. Dr. Namie says:
“Report to your superiors and make it a business case on how the bully is affecting your productivity and driving up absenteeism. The minute you talk about how emotionally traumatized you are, you’re unlikely to get any help.”
Your managers could brush it off by saying it’s a cultural difference or clash of ideas, he says. Follow your instincts if you think you’re in a hostile work environment, and report it the right way. The only time when you should leave your job without making a case is if you work in a small family-run business, according to him.
Have you ever been bullied at work? Is there a difference between male and female bullies, in your experience?






802-362-5448



Providing dynamic and practical anti-bullying workshops to students, staff and parents, Mike Dreiblatt teaches realistic bullying prevention strategies and best practices that can be used immediately to STOP bullying.













https://www.admail.net/image/full/51eedea93bcea390862d0000/



These bullying prevention resources will help students, parents, teachers and staff 
Stand Up, Stand Strong and Stand Together against bullying.

Shipping and handling is included on all orders.

DVD

Books

Poster

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He who passively accepts evil is as much involved in it as he who helps to perpetrate it. — Martin Luther King, Jr.
Sometimes a bystander will witness or know about bullying but not feel safe or think it wise to get directly involved. That's why, like any responsible adult, a bystander has to go to a greater authority for assistance.  It's a variation of "If you see something, say something" advertised in many mass transit hubs.  In this case, it's the local community.  "But is that tattling?"  Nope.  It's helping!
PLEASE SHARE AND DISCUSS WITH KIDS.
AND POST TO FACEBOOK, TWITTER, ETC.
Thanks for supporting PAVE by sharing the videos

 PAVE and Steve’s Bully Prevention Strategy Videos:

1.     Bullying Defined (1) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression with Steve Breakstone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_OkJAuL-24o&list=PLHIRJnXJQ8i0f0A3Ya5m7sY-1PtYp8ox1&index=1

2.   Ignoring the Bully (2) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression with Steve Breakstone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W6FoF1jSPnA&list=PLHIRJnXJQ8i0f0A3Ya5m7sY-1PtYp8ox1&index=2

3.   Walking Away from the Bully (3) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression with Steve Breakstone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ImIINtR0nuU&list=PLHIRJnXJQ8i0f0A3Ya5m7sY-1PtYp8ox1&index=3

4.     Telling the Bully to "Stop" (4) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression with Steve Breakstonehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rlrcds88x5g&list=PLHIRJnXJQ8i0f0A3Ya5m7sY-1PtYp8ox1&index=4

5. Talk to a Trusted Adult (5) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression with Steve Breakstone  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVK_v9CD5h8&list=PLHIRJnXJQ8i0f0A3Ya5m7sY-1PtYp8ox1&index=5

6. Teasing vs. Taunting (6) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression with Steve Breakstonehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_8oYrlNijVc&list=PLHIRJnXJQ8i0f0A3Ya5m7sY-1PtYp8ox1&index=6

7. Making Friends (7) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression with Steve Breakstone https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nkqmGXaC-Jc

8. Bystanders: Tell the Bully to Stop (8) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression with Breakstone http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9zQ_VMOMMHI

9. Bystanders: Separate the Bully from the Person being Bullied (9) How to Stop Bullying w/ Breakstonehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BnJ842nNstE

10.Bystander: Separate the Person Being Bullied Away From the Bully (10) How to Stop Bullying https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NM5ja-eSS4E

11. Bystanders: Report to a Trusted Adult (11) How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression w/ Breakstonehttp://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WIZiR69wcH4


802-362-5448 -- 136 Clover Lane Manchester Center Vermont 05255