8 Things Parents Should Know About Bully

www.StandUpToBullying.net 8 Things Parents Should Know About Bully By Dave Banks http://www.wired.com/geekdad/2012/04/bully-movie-2/ 1. What’s it about? The much-talked about, oft-debated documentary looks at the problem of bullying in schools from the perspective of five kids and their families, mostly from small towns. Two of the families included have lost children to suicide as a result of bullying. The stories are powerful and not only look at the problem through the victims’ eyes, but also offer some solutions for how society should deal with bullying. The film opened in New York and Los Angeles a couple of weeks ago and opened in 50 additional cities yesterday. 2. Does it live up to the hype? There was an awful lot of talk surrounding this movie, possibly more hype than it was possible to live up to. And the movie was still good and worth seeing. However, I kept waiting for the big ending and the important takeaway … and there wasn’t one. Toward the end, one of the kids featured in the film says we “can’t change it all at once” and maybe that’s the lesson. If we all make little changes, we might eventually end this problem. Like Curtis Silver said yesterday, ending bullying requires vigilance. 3. Will I like it? I’m not sure “like” is appropriate for a movie that’s meant to make you feel at least a little uncomfortable, but the story is well told and the people featured are likable (except for the most inept school administrator on the face of the planet). The film moves quickly and it’s definitely worth seeing. 4. Is it appropriate for kids? Absolutely. There is bullying violence and some language, but, unfortunately, probably not anything your kids haven’t seen or heard before. There’s value for all kids, whether they are bullies, have been bullied, or are bystanders. When kids see how other kids are going through similar issues to them, perhaps they will make a change for themselves or help others. 5. Is it closer to PG-13 or R? I was shocked that this movie was rated R at one point. Even with the addition of the three f-words that were cut, it wouldn’t have felt even close to an R. The language that is in it comes at the beginning and is forgettable. However, there is content in it that is more worth mentioning than the profanity. There are some families in this movie whose children have committed suicide. Other kids talk about either thinking about it or attempting to kill themselves or hurt themselves. This issue is definitely worth a discussion with your kids, because the movie is a documentary and what happens on screen is all very real. 6. Is it too scary? It’s purposefully uncomfortable. There were moments so astounding — regarding the stupidity of adults — that there were audible gasps from people in the theatre where I saw the movie. Some kids who have been bullied may have a difficult time watching kids onscreen be abused both verbally and physically. Further, there’s a moment where a girl who was bullied brings a gun aboard a bus and waves it about, which may be scary to some kids. 7. Will I want to see it again? I will be going again so my kids (age 10) can see it. I’m not sure there’s much point in seeing it again after that, though. After the first viewing, the message will have been delivered, and there wasn’t a lot of nuance that could have been missed. 8. When’s the best time for a bathroom break? The movie is just 94 minutes long and moves along at a brisk pace, especially for a documentary. However, there are still a couple moments when you could leave: first at the 30 minute mark after meeting Tyler’s parents, and then again at the 60 minute mark after meeting Devon. Schedule 2012 - 2013 Bullying Prevention Workshops  info@StandUpToBullying.net 802-362-5448 Mike Dreiblatt is an outstanding national speaker and author who provides dynamic, practical seminars and workshops to students, school staff, administrators, parents and community members.     Using humor and practical strategies, Mike teaches best practices and realistic strategies that can be used immediately. A former teacher, Mike is an expert in bullying and violence prevention, character education, and discipline of students with special needs. See Mike In Action!!! Definition of Bullying Physical Bullying Verbal Bullying Elementary School Types of Bullying High School Types of Bullying Forgive Yourself Bystanders--The Crowd Bystander Responsibilities Ways to Stop Bullying Longer Middle School Presentation Assertive Communication Techniques for Staff                                                                                                                                  $36.95 (includes S/H)  Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect Fax POs to 1-802-549-5024 Balance Educational Services 136 Clover Lane Manchester Center, Vt 05255 Click Here to Purchase Mike's book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression, has been recognized as a practical resource to teach and reinforce character development and pro-social behavior. Teasing vs. Taunting How to Respond to a Verbal Bully Book Reviews "This timely book includes perfectly sequenced, content-enriched, practical lessons that will enhance any anti-bullying effort. The student-focused activities will facilitate and maintain learning of important anti-bullying concepts that can never be overemphasized." —Allan L. Beane, Author of The Bully Free Classroom "A practical book packed with the kinds of anti-bullying strategies that teachers, coaches, therapists, and kids regularly request. Every chapter is packed with tips on how to stay physically and emotionally safe when bullying occurs, and children are coached to practice assertive behaviors and avoid the victim role." —Cheryl Dellasega, Author of Mean Girls Grown Up info@StandUpToBullying.net Unsubscribe Forward to a Friend Having trouble viewing this email? Please click here         To ensure delivery, please add mike@balanceeducation.net to your address book.

Not All Meanness and Cruelty is Bullying

www.StandUpToBullying.net by Danah Boyd -- The Wall Street Journal Bullying is a serious issue. Cries to do something—anything—have triggered new legislation, school assemblies, and pressure to punish those who hurt others. The tenor of the discussion is one of grave concern mixed with moral panic. As difficult as it is to step back and gain perspective, we must do so in order to actually address the problem. As researchers, we have found that misunderstandings undermine interventions.  With this in mind, we would like to offer five aspects of bullying that must be broadly understood in order to move from awareness to action. 1. “Bullies” usually aren’t the source of the problem: They’re often a symptom of the problem. Many bullies have difficulties at home or in school, and need just as much help as those who are targets of and bystanders to bullying. Bullies are often victims in other contexts who are lashing out. 2. Not all meanness and cruelty is bullying: Bullying refers to repeated psychological, social and physical aggression propagated by those who are more physically or socially powerful. Addressing the role of power is critical to combating bullying. Different strategies are needed to curb other types of meanness and cruelty, but it’s also important not to overreact.  Some forms of teasing, pranking and drama are perfectly healthy, even if they look troublesome from the outside. 3. “Cyberbullying” has become an unnecessary distraction: Students consistently report that school bullying is still more common—and that it has a greater negative impact—than what happens online. Most bullying is relatively invisible to adults, but online traces make many forms of meanness and cruelty, including cyberbullying, especially visible. Thus, adults focus on the technology.  Certain types of negativity do flourish online, but the Internet typically mirrors and magnifies existing dynamics. Rather than being something to blame,technology should be leveraged in order to identify those who are struggling. 4. When a child has been hurt, people want someone—or something—to blame, but rushing to prosecute purported bullies only undermines society’s ability to curb bullying. Teen suicides should prompt us to act. But enacting flawed legislation in memory or prosecuting teens’ peers shifts the onus of responsibility away from society onto individuals. Teen suicides can rarely be explained by the actions of one person. All too often, mental-health issues, struggles to fit in, parental pressure and a culture of intolerance create a deadly combination.Rather than looking for people to blame, it’s important to look for root causes and work to address those. The blame game does little to stop the cycle of violence. 5. Most anti-bullying assemblies are ineffective, and the messages of well-meaning advocates tend to fall on deaf ears. Teens don’t recognize most of the meanness and cruelty they witness or experience as bullying; they see it as drama, teasing or pranking. Students do recognize certain serious encounters as bullying, but they often lack the social, structural and educational infrastructure to make a difference.  Punitive approaches (including “zero tolerance” school policies) appear reasonable but are consistently ineffective at addressing the core issue.  Likewise, “tell a trusted adult” seems like a good idea, but when adults have no training in dealing with these issues, they often make things worse. There are effective programs for addressing the underlying issues; they require social-emotional learning and empathy development. Yet, putting these in place requires serious commitment in terms of money, time and community involvement.  If we want to change the ecosystem, we need to invest in these long-term solutions. There’s no doubt that bullying does serious harm, both to those who are victimized as well as to perpetrators and bystanders. Combating bullying—alongside other forms of aggression and violence—should be a social priority. But bullying is not just a youth problem. If we want to help young people, we need to put an end to adult meanness and cruelty and take responsibility for how we perpetuate problematic values and intolerance. We cannot expect youth to treat each other kindly when we accept politicians berating each other for sport, parents talking behind their neighbors’ backs, and reality TV stars becoming famous for treating each other horribly. If we want to create a kinder, braver world, we must collectively work to develop compassion, empathy and respect. Dr. Boyd is a research fellow at the Born This Way Foundation, a senior researcher at Microsoft Research and a research assistant professor at New York University. Schedule 2012 - 2013 Bullying Prevention Workshops  info@StandUpToBullying.net 802-362-5448 Mike Dreiblatt is an outstanding national speaker and author who provides dynamic, practical seminars and workshops to students, school staff, administrators, parents and community members.     Using humor and practical strategies, Mike teaches best practices and realistic strategies that can be used immediately. A former teacher, Mike is an expert in bullying and violence prevention, character education, and discipline of students with special needs. See Mike In Action!!! Definition of Bullying Physical Bullying Verbal Bullying Elementary School Types of Bullying High School Types of Bullying Forgive Yourself Bystanders--The Crowd Bystander Responsibilities Ways to Stop Bullying Longer Middle School Presentation Assertive Communication Techniques for Staff                                                                                                                                $36.95 (includes S/H)  Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect Fax POs to 1-802-549-5024 Balance Educational Services 136 Clover Lane Manchester Center, Vt 05255 Click Here to Purchase Mike's book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression, has been recognized as a practical resource to teach and reinforce character development and pro-social behavior. Teasing vs. Taunting How to Respond to a Verbal Bully Book Reviews "This timely book includes perfectly sequenced, content-enriched, practical lessons that will enhance any anti-bullying effort. The student-focused activities will facilitate and maintain learning of important anti-bullying concepts that can never be overemphasized." —Allan L. Beane, Author of The Bully Free Classroom "A practical book packed with the kinds of anti-bullying strategies that teachers, coaches, therapists, and kids regularly request. Every chapter is packed with tips on how to stay physically and emotionally safe when bullying occurs, and children are coached to practice assertive behaviors and avoid the victim role." —Cheryl Dellasega, Author of Mean Girls Grown Up info@StandUpToBullying.net

Anti-Bullying Video Produced By Texas' Cypress Ranch High School Goes Viral (WATCH)

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/04/anti-bullying-video-texas-cypress-ranch-high-school-_n_1402716.html?ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false#sb=1367583,b=facebook

Stand Up, Stand Strong, Stand Together

Students, Staff and Parents Bullying Prevention Workshops 802-362-5448 StandUpToBullying.net   info@StandUpToBullying.net Mike Dreiblatt is an outstanding national speaker and author who provides dynamic, practical seminars and workshops to students, school staff, administrators, parents and community members.     Using humor and practical strategies, Mike teaches best practices and realistic strategies that can be used immediately. A former teacher, Mike is an expert in bullying and violence prevention, character education, and discipline of students with special needs. See Mike In Action!!! Definition of Bullying Physical Bullying Verbal Bullying Elementary School Types of Bullying High School Types of Bullying Forgive Yourself Bystanders--The Crowd Bystander Responsibilities Ways to Stop Bullying Longer Middle School Presentation Assertive Communication Techniques for Staff                                                                                                                                  $36.95 (includes S/H)  Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect Fax POs to 1-802-549-5024 Balance Educational Services 136 Clover Lane Manchester Center, Vt 05255 Click Here to Purchase Mike's book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression, has been recognized as a practical resource to teach and reinforce character development and pro-social behavior. Teasing vs. Taunting How to Respond to a Verbal Bully Book Reviews "This timely book includes perfectly sequenced, content-enriched, practical lessons that will enhance any anti-bullying effort. The student-focused activities will facilitate and maintain learning of important anti-bullying concepts that can never be overemphasized." —Allan L. Beane, Author of The Bully Free Classroom "A practical book packed with the kinds of anti-bullying strategies that teachers, coaches, therapists, and kids regularly request. Every chapter is packed with tips on how to stay physically and emotionally safe when bullying occurs, and children are coached to practice assertive behaviors and avoid the victim role." —Cheryl Dellasega, Author of Mean Girls Grown Up

Teens With Autism Preoccupied With TV, Video Games: Study

HealthDay – 15 hours ago

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TUESDAY, Feb. 14 (HealthDay News) -- When given the opportunity to have screen time, children with autism spectrum disorders typically choose television and video games over social interactive media, such as email, a new study finds .

The preoccupation with video games could interfere with the children's socialization and learning, warned the researchers, whose study appears online in the Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders.

Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by problems with social interaction, communication and restricted interests and behaviors. Autism spectrum disorders, or ASDs, include Asperger syndrome, which is a milder form of autism.

In conducting the study, the researchers analyzed information on more than 1,000 teens in special education classes, including those with autism spectrum disorders, learning and intellectual disabilities, and speech problems.

About 60 percent of the teens with autism spectrum disorders spent most of their time watching TV or videos, the investigators found.

"This rate appears to be high, given that among typically developing adolescents, only 28 percent have been shown to be 'high users' of television," Paul Shattuck, an assistant professor at the Brown School at Washington University in St. Louis, said in a university news release. "Television viewing is clearly a preferred activity for children with ASDs, regardless of symptoms, functional level or family status."

Moreover, 41 percent of the teens with autism spent most of their free time playing video games, the study authors found.

"Given that only 18 percent of youths in the general population are considered to be high users of video games, it seems reasonable to infer based on the current results, that kids with ASDs are at significantly greater risk of high use of this media than are youths without ASDs," Shattuck added.

In contrast, the teens with autism spectrum disorders were less likely to use email or social media.

"We found that 64.4 percent of youth with ASDs did not use email or chat at all," Shattuck said. "Kids with speech and language impairments and learning disabilities were about two times more likely to use email or chat rooms than those with ASDs."

He noted, however, use of social media increased among the teens with autism spectrum disorders as they got older and their cognitive skills improved. Cognitive is a word used to describe brain-based functions such as memory, thinking, learning and processing information.

"This proclivity for screen time might be turned into something we can take advantage of to enhance social skills and learning achievement, especially [with] recent innovations in devices like iPads," Shattuck suggested.

More information

The U.S. National Institute of Neurological Disorders and Stroke provides more information onautism.