Girls and Bullying

www.StandUpToBullying.net Girls and Bullying When most people picture a "typical" bully, they imagine a boy who is bigger or older than his classmates, who doesn't do well in school, who fights, and who likes it when others are scared of him. Girls usually face a different type of bully, one who may not look as scary from the outside but who can cause just as much harm. What's She Like The typical girl who bullies is popular, well-liked by adults, does well in school, and can even be friends with the girls she bullies. She doesn't get into fist fights, although some girls who bully do. Instead, she spreads rumors, gossips, excludes others, shares secrets, and teases girls about their hair, weight, intelligence, and athletic ability. She usually bullies in a group and others join in or pressure her to bully. The Effects This kind of bullying can have just as serious consequences as physical bullying. It can cause a drop in grades, low self esteem, anxiety, depression, drug use, and poor eating habits in girls who are bullied. This kind of bullying is harder to see. Most of the time adults don't realize when girls are being bullied in this way. What You Can Do One of the best ways to stop this form of bullying is for the girls who see it or who are stuck in the middle to speak up and say that it is not okay. But only 15 percent of girls speak up, usually because they're afraid the bully will turn on them next. Parents and other adults can help girls beat bullying by teaching them how to stand up for themselves and their friends and by taking action themselves. Here are a few things to remember: Encourage kids to be kind and to help others, particularly if they see someone being bullied. Praise them when they do so. Tell girls they are special, and point out why. Help girls get involved in activities outside of school so they can make friends in different social circles.  Don't push girls to be in the "right" class or on the "right" sports team. Let them choose what to play and with whom. Stop bullying when you see it. Don't let anyone, even your daughter, make fun of someone else even if she says she is only "joking." Be a good example. Don't gossip or make fun of others in front of young girls. Talk to girls about their friends, what they do together, and how they treat each other. Ask them what makes a good friend, and whether their friends have these qualities.  If you know bullying is happening at school, speak to school officials and ask what they are doing to stop it. http://www.ncpc.org/topics/bullying/girls-and-bullying Schedule 2012 - 2013 Bullying Prevention Workshops  info@StandUpToBullying.net 802-362-5448 Mike Dreiblatt is an outstanding national speaker and author who provides dynamic, practical seminars and workshops to students, school staff, administrators, parents and community members.     Using humor and practical strategies, Mike teaches best practices and realistic strategies that can be used immediately. A former teacher, Mike is an expert in bullying and violence prevention, character education, and discipline of students with special needs. See Mike In Action!!! Definition of Bullying Physical Bullying Verbal Bullying Elementary School Types of Bullying High School Types of Bullying Forgive Yourself Bystanders--The Crowd Bystander Responsibilities Ways to Stop Bullying Longer Middle School Presentation Assertive Communication Techniques for Staff                                                                                                                                  $36.95 (includes S/H)  Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect Fax POs to 1-802-549-5024 Balance Educational Services 136 Clover Lane Manchester Center, Vt 05255 Click Here to Purchase Mike's book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression, has been recognized as a practical resource to teach and reinforce character development and pro-social behavior. Teasing vs. Taunting How to Respond to a Verbal Bully Book Reviews "This timely book includes perfectly sequenced, content-enriched, practical lessons that will enhance any anti-bullying effort. The student-focused activities will facilitate and maintain learning of important anti-bullying concepts that can never be overemphasized." —Allan L. Beane, Author of The Bully Free Classroom "A practical book packed with the kinds of anti-bullying strategies that teachers, coaches, therapists, and kids regularly request. Every chapter is packed with tips on how to stay physically and emotionally safe when bullying occurs, and children are coached to practice assertive behaviors and avoid the victim role." —Cheryl Dellasega, Author of Mean Girls Grown Up info@StandUpToBullying.net Unsubscribe Forward to a Friend Having trouble viewing this email? Please click here         To ensure delivery, please add mike@balanceeducation.net to your address book.

Working with the Bullied Child

Research has revealed common characteristics and profiles among students who are repeatedly bullied. One group is referred to as passive (a.k.a. submissive) victims, another as provocative victims. Clarifying the behaviors of a student who is repeatedly bullied can lead to strategies that reduce victimization.

Passive victims signal, through attitude and behaviors, that they are insecure and will not respond strongly if bullied. They are often:

-Physically weaker than others their age
-Afraid of being hurt, have poor physical coordination and don't do well in sports
-Have poor social skills and have difficulty making friends
-Are cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn and shy
-Are anxious, insecure, and cry or become upset easily
-Have poor self-esteem
-Have difficulty standing up for or defending themselves, physically and verbally

Provocative victims express behaviors that often irritate others and incite negative reactions. They often:

-Have poor social skills -- appear to instigate the bullying
-Are hyperactive, restless, and have difficulty concentrating
-Are clumsy, immature, and exhibit irritating habits
-Do not develop strong friendships
-Are hot-tempered and attempt to fight back, ineffectively and sometimes entertainingly, when victimized
-Pick on smaller kids

If the bullied child has traits familiar to either list, altering their behavior may help reduce further bullying and develop self-esteem, resiliency and empowerment - qualities that will limit further victimization.For instance, teach passive victims to respond assertively to bullies with details that include specific language and how to express confident body language, eye contact, and tone of voice. These students will also need to practice social skills and learn activities appreciated by peers.

Provocative victims also need to learn age appropriate skills. They will need help from a caring adult to become aware of behaviors that generate negative reactions from others. They may also need help with emotional management techniques.

Social skills training should be incorporated into behavior plans, classroom lessons, and IEPs (Individualized Education Plans).

Although some behaviors do perpetuate bullying, no one ever deserves to be bullied!

For more information and other bully prevention strategies, contact Balance Educational Services 1-802-362-5448 © 2008 www.BalanceEducationalServices.com

What Students Need to Know About Cyber Bullying

Cyber bullying is intentional wrongdoing and the cyber bully can be held responsible by a court of law under the following circumstances:
-Publishing a false statement about another which is damaging to their reputation
-Publicly disclosing a private fact about another
-Breaking into someone's account
-Purposely causing someone emotional distress

The following actions may be considered criminal, regardless if it happens online or directly:
-Making threats of violence to people or their property
-Trying to force someone to do something he or she doesn't want to do
-Sending obscene or harassing text messages, emails, pictures, telephone calls, etc.
-Harassment or stalking
-Creating or sending sexually explicit images of teens (considered child pornography even if sent by another child)
-Taking a photo of someone in place where privacy is expected (locker room, bathroom, etc.)

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Permission is granted to use this article with full credit.

For more information and other bully prevention strategies, contact Balance Educational Services at 1-802-362-5448 info@BalanceEducationalServices.com

Is Your Camp Staff Really Prepared to Stop Bullying???

It's that time of year... when parents are preparing to send 10 million of their children to summer camp. 1 in 5 American kids will be away from home this summer, facing everything from bug bites to bullying in the cabin.
That's right. Bullying - from gossiping, name-calling, and shunning to punching, hitting, and physical intimidation - isn't reserved for the schoolyard. It's a growing problem for summer camp directors, camp counselors, and the parents of their campers.

There is something camps can do about bullying. Mike Dreiblatt uses interactive techniques - such as role-playing and lots of audience participation - to help camp counselors and staff find the most effective ways to recognize, prevent, and stop bullying from "day one".
Why is bullying important right now? With an increase in bullying awareness, parents are anxious about sending their kids far away from home. They know that bullying not only undermines a child's self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe (physically and emotionally).
With a downturn in the economy, parents are also weighing how they spend money. The result? Parents wonder whether it's worth footing a summer camp's hefty bill.
Here's the good news! Camps that offer bullying prevention training reassure worried parents and campers that they are able to nip the problem in the bud. When campers have safe and happy times away from home, they thrive. When the summer camping experience is positive, camp reputations are strengthened, enrollments increase, and existing campers return year after year.
Balance Educational Services, a Manchester Center, Vermont-based consulting and training company, has provided custom-designed student presentations, staff workshops, and parent workshops to school systems and summer camps across the country. Its goal is to teach people how to recognize and minimize bullying and other forms of anti-social behavior in children and supervising adults.

Celebrity Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana was bullied, too!

Celebrity Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana was bullied, too!

Our most popular blog hits are about celebrities who were bullied as children. Here’s another. Miley Cyrus is coming out with a memoir "Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go," and in the book the teen star describes in depth the bullying she received from the "the Anti-Miley Club" in her pre-teen years growing up in Tennessee.

"The girls took it beyond normal bullying. These were big, tough girls," Cyrus says in the book, which hit stores on Tuesday. "I was scrawny and short. They were fully capable of doing me bodily harm."
During one of those instances, the mean girls locked Miley in the bathroom during class. "They shoved me in. I was trapped. I banged on the door until my fists hurt. Nobody came," she writes. "I spent what felt like an hour in there, waiting for someone to rescue me, wondering how my life had gotten so messed up."
Miley also describes how the girls escalated their bullying on the future star by confronting her and challenging her to a fight. "It seemed like Operation Make Miley Miserable was escalating to a new level. More like Operation Take Miley Down," she recalls. "Three girls strutted up and stood towering over me. My stomach churned. I clutched my grilled-cheese sandwich like it was the hand of my best friend. It pretty much was my best friend those days. I was done for.
"They started cussing me and telling me to get up. I sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do," she continues about the incident, which ended when the principal stepped in. "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said, 'What's your problem? What did I ever do to you?' "
Her classmates also teased her about her family, telling her, "Your dad's a one-hit wonder. You'll never amount to anything — just like him."

Some celebrities were bullied as children and became celebrities as adults. Miley’s stories are examples of a talented person from a celebrity family getting picked on. Sharing these stories about a teen idol being bullied with a youngster who is experiencing bullying can help show that targets are not losers. Targets are just that…targets of people have a need to abuse another. Sometimes misery loves company and if the company is Miley Cyrus, it may be comforting to a target.

Also note that Miley finally stood up for herself in an assertive, yet non-violent manner. It will be interesting to find out more details when the book comes out – especially to find out how well her response to bullying worked. Remember, in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression--Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect, we provide many strategies on how a person can effectively stop bullying.

Let us know if you read the book and if any stories ring true to you.
Steve