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Showing posts with label effects of bullying. Show all posts
Showing posts with label effects of bullying. Show all posts
Monday, May 5, 2014
Monday, June 29, 2009
What will I learn?
Learn fun and interactive lesson plans that teach pro-social behaviors and fulfill State education requirements.
Attendees will learn how to:
* Create a 'same page' understanding of bullying, social aggression and harassment throughout the school
* Teach all staff an easy 4-Step response to stop bullying quickly
* Implement consequences that replace bullying with pro-social behavior
* Teach targets of bullying how to stand up to a bully safely and effectively
* Teach student bystanders to stop others from bullying
* Recognize the dynamics of social aggression
* Apply practical strategies to confront social aggression and cyber bullying
Attendees will learn how to:
* Create a 'same page' understanding of bullying, social aggression and harassment throughout the school
* Teach all staff an easy 4-Step response to stop bullying quickly
* Implement consequences that replace bullying with pro-social behavior
* Teach targets of bullying how to stand up to a bully safely and effectively
* Teach student bystanders to stop others from bullying
* Recognize the dynamics of social aggression
* Apply practical strategies to confront social aggression and cyber bullying
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
What Students Need to Know About Cyber Bullying
Cyber bullying is intentional wrongdoing and the cyber bully can be held responsible by a court of law under the following circumstances:
-Publishing a false statement about another which is damaging to their reputation
-Publicly disclosing a private fact about another
-Breaking into someone's account
-Purposely causing someone emotional distress
The following actions may be considered criminal, regardless if it happens online or directly:
-Making threats of violence to people or their property
-Trying to force someone to do something he or she doesn't want to do
-Sending obscene or harassing text messages, emails, pictures, telephone calls, etc.
-Harassment or stalking
-Creating or sending sexually explicit images of teens (considered child pornography even if sent by another child)
-Taking a photo of someone in place where privacy is expected (locker room, bathroom, etc.)
(c) 2009 http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=4enbmwcab.0.0.jt48c7bab.0&ts=S0385&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.balanceeducationalservices.com%2F&id=preview
Permission is granted to use this article with full credit.
For more information and other bully prevention strategies, contact Balance Educational Services at 1-802-362-5448 info@BalanceEducationalServices.com
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Teen Commits Suicide Due to Bullying: Parents Sue School for Son's Death
Eric Mohat, 17, was harassed so mercilessly in high school that when one bully said publicly in class, "Why don't you go home and shoot yourself, no one will miss you," he did.
In a federal lawsuit, the parents of Eric Mohat allege that their son committed suicide after being tormented by bullies at his Mentor, Ohio, High School. They say the school knew about the bullying and failed to protect their son.
Now his parents, William and Janis Mohat of Mentor, Ohio, have filed a lawsuit in federal court, saying that their son endured name-calling, teasing, constant pushing and shoving and hitting in front of school officials who should have protected him.
The lawsuit -- filed March 27, alleges that the quiet but likable boy, who was involved in theater and music, was called "gay," "fag," "queer" and "homo" and often in front of his teachers. Most of the harassment took place in math class and the teacher -- an athletic coach -- was accused of failing to protect the boy.
"When you lose a child like this it destroys you in ways you can't even describe," Eric Mohat's father told ABCNews.com.
The parents aren't seeking any compensation; rather, they are asking that Mentor High School recognize their son's death as a "bullicide" and put in place what they believe is a badly needed anti-bullying program.
By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES ABC News
In a federal lawsuit, the parents of Eric Mohat allege that their son committed suicide after being tormented by bullies at his Mentor, Ohio, High School. They say the school knew about the bullying and failed to protect their son.
Now his parents, William and Janis Mohat of Mentor, Ohio, have filed a lawsuit in federal court, saying that their son endured name-calling, teasing, constant pushing and shoving and hitting in front of school officials who should have protected him.
The lawsuit -- filed March 27, alleges that the quiet but likable boy, who was involved in theater and music, was called "gay," "fag," "queer" and "homo" and often in front of his teachers. Most of the harassment took place in math class and the teacher -- an athletic coach -- was accused of failing to protect the boy.
"When you lose a child like this it destroys you in ways you can't even describe," Eric Mohat's father told ABCNews.com.
The parents aren't seeking any compensation; rather, they are asking that Mentor High School recognize their son's death as a "bullicide" and put in place what they believe is a badly needed anti-bullying program.
By SUSAN DONALDSON JAMES ABC News
Monday, June 1, 2009
Is Your Camp Staff Really Prepared to Stop Bullying???
It's that time of year... when parents are preparing to send 10 million of their children to summer camp. 1 in 5 American kids will be away from home this summer, facing everything from bug bites to bullying in the cabin.
That's right. Bullying - from gossiping, name-calling, and shunning to punching, hitting, and physical intimidation - isn't reserved for the schoolyard. It's a growing problem for summer camp directors, camp counselors, and the parents of their campers.
There is something camps can do about bullying. Mike Dreiblatt uses interactive techniques - such as role-playing and lots of audience participation - to help camp counselors and staff find the most effective ways to recognize, prevent, and stop bullying from "day one".
Why is bullying important right now? With an increase in bullying awareness, parents are anxious about sending their kids far away from home. They know that bullying not only undermines a child's self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe (physically and emotionally).
With a downturn in the economy, parents are also weighing how they spend money. The result? Parents wonder whether it's worth footing a summer camp's hefty bill.
Here's the good news! Camps that offer bullying prevention training reassure worried parents and campers that they are able to nip the problem in the bud. When campers have safe and happy times away from home, they thrive. When the summer camping experience is positive, camp reputations are strengthened, enrollments increase, and existing campers return year after year.
Balance Educational Services, a Manchester Center, Vermont-based consulting and training company, has provided custom-designed student presentations, staff workshops, and parent workshops to school systems and summer camps across the country. Its goal is to teach people how to recognize and minimize bullying and other forms of anti-social behavior in children and supervising adults.
That's right. Bullying - from gossiping, name-calling, and shunning to punching, hitting, and physical intimidation - isn't reserved for the schoolyard. It's a growing problem for summer camp directors, camp counselors, and the parents of their campers.
There is something camps can do about bullying. Mike Dreiblatt uses interactive techniques - such as role-playing and lots of audience participation - to help camp counselors and staff find the most effective ways to recognize, prevent, and stop bullying from "day one".
Why is bullying important right now? With an increase in bullying awareness, parents are anxious about sending their kids far away from home. They know that bullying not only undermines a child's self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe (physically and emotionally).
With a downturn in the economy, parents are also weighing how they spend money. The result? Parents wonder whether it's worth footing a summer camp's hefty bill.
Here's the good news! Camps that offer bullying prevention training reassure worried parents and campers that they are able to nip the problem in the bud. When campers have safe and happy times away from home, they thrive. When the summer camping experience is positive, camp reputations are strengthened, enrollments increase, and existing campers return year after year.
Balance Educational Services, a Manchester Center, Vermont-based consulting and training company, has provided custom-designed student presentations, staff workshops, and parent workshops to school systems and summer camps across the country. Its goal is to teach people how to recognize and minimize bullying and other forms of anti-social behavior in children and supervising adults.
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
CB case law is limited...but it’ Growing
An article published in the St. Louis Post-Dispatch titled New Cyber-Bullying Law Is Being Used In St. Louis Area discusses one of the first lawsuits regarding cyber bullying under the new Missouri law that was passed in response to the suicide of teenage Megan Meier. I recommend reading it.
The available technology and creativity of our species has created a very powerful way to abuse another through various electronic devices. Because of this, 18 states now have laws targeting internet harassment and cyber-stalking. Attorneys have also discovered ways to bring legal action against an accused cyber-bully based on pre-existing torts and criminal laws.
In this story, a teen girl is accused of sending harassing text messages to the girl and letting friends use her cell phone to leave threatening voice messages. This is an example of ‘Cyberbullying-by-Proxy’ which is the act of a cyber bully getting others to cyber bully the target, even if they don’t know the target.
To limit cyber bullying, keep the school community informed of the issue so you can “nip it in the bud." The best and safest schools and communities are pro-active. Teach kids about the issue, it’s consequences, how to respond if they are victimized or know of someone being victimized.
For more information about cyber bullying, how to respond and prevent it, contact me at Balance Educational Services. We also have free lesson plans to teach empathy, friendship and respect. Let us know your experience and any strategies that have worked for you. We'll pass them along if you wish.
Steve
The available technology and creativity of our species has created a very powerful way to abuse another through various electronic devices. Because of this, 18 states now have laws targeting internet harassment and cyber-stalking. Attorneys have also discovered ways to bring legal action against an accused cyber-bully based on pre-existing torts and criminal laws.
In this story, a teen girl is accused of sending harassing text messages to the girl and letting friends use her cell phone to leave threatening voice messages. This is an example of ‘Cyberbullying-by-Proxy’ which is the act of a cyber bully getting others to cyber bully the target, even if they don’t know the target.
To limit cyber bullying, keep the school community informed of the issue so you can “nip it in the bud." The best and safest schools and communities are pro-active. Teach kids about the issue, it’s consequences, how to respond if they are victimized or know of someone being victimized.
For more information about cyber bullying, how to respond and prevent it, contact me at Balance Educational Services. We also have free lesson plans to teach empathy, friendship and respect. Let us know your experience and any strategies that have worked for you. We'll pass them along if you wish.
Steve
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Anti-bullying laws--help or hinder
Last month, we at www.BalanceEducationalServices.com, sent a newsletter to some of our readers concerning their states' bullying laws. One of our readers, a principal, commented about a proposed anti-bullying law.
Our reader stated "...Please realize that school personnel are working as hard as possible to deal with the problem in schools. There is nothing a law can do other than to create more paperwork and red tape, thus reducing the time that educators are able to actually work with kids. Probably the biggest help that a legislature could offer for this problem would be a law regulating kids' access to media offerings that model bullying behaviors. But the law that was proposed in Massachusetts simply added more requirements for schools to write and file reports about anti-bullying plans, thus adding yet another layer of paperwork and reducing the time I can spend actually working with kids and teachers."
I commented back thanking her for her insightful comments and I have thought about what she wrote. She was right that a law which creates more paperwork and red tape and takes away valuable teaching time would be counterproductive. On the other hand, a law that requires staff to intervene or report bullying to a higher authority when witnessed, would go a long way in lessening incidents of bullying. A law that requires staff to be appropriately trained in bully prevention techniques would be even more beneficial. At times it may feel unnecessary to have a law requiring such common sense actions as having staff intervene or be appropriately trained to stop inappropriate behavior. Unfortunately, too may staff members are not responding to bullying in an effective way, mostly due to lack of training. It is equally unfortunate that many schools and school districts would not provide appropriate training for their staff unless prompted to by law. Another layer of paperwork doesn’t help anyone. Another layer of training, especially for our paraprofessionals, aides, and bus drivers, the ones who are more likely to witness bullying, is invaluable.
I thanked her for her insightful comments. And thanked her for the good work she and her staff do on behalf of students.
What did you think about anti-bullying laws? Help or hinder? Post your comments now. Mike
Our reader stated "...Please realize that school personnel are working as hard as possible to deal with the problem in schools. There is nothing a law can do other than to create more paperwork and red tape, thus reducing the time that educators are able to actually work with kids. Probably the biggest help that a legislature could offer for this problem would be a law regulating kids' access to media offerings that model bullying behaviors. But the law that was proposed in Massachusetts simply added more requirements for schools to write and file reports about anti-bullying plans, thus adding yet another layer of paperwork and reducing the time I can spend actually working with kids and teachers."
I commented back thanking her for her insightful comments and I have thought about what she wrote. She was right that a law which creates more paperwork and red tape and takes away valuable teaching time would be counterproductive. On the other hand, a law that requires staff to intervene or report bullying to a higher authority when witnessed, would go a long way in lessening incidents of bullying. A law that requires staff to be appropriately trained in bully prevention techniques would be even more beneficial. At times it may feel unnecessary to have a law requiring such common sense actions as having staff intervene or be appropriately trained to stop inappropriate behavior. Unfortunately, too may staff members are not responding to bullying in an effective way, mostly due to lack of training. It is equally unfortunate that many schools and school districts would not provide appropriate training for their staff unless prompted to by law. Another layer of paperwork doesn’t help anyone. Another layer of training, especially for our paraprofessionals, aides, and bus drivers, the ones who are more likely to witness bullying, is invaluable.
I thanked her for her insightful comments. And thanked her for the good work she and her staff do on behalf of students.
What did you think about anti-bullying laws? Help or hinder? Post your comments now. Mike
Monday, September 15, 2008
Teaching Your Kids How to Respond to a Bully
Mike and I present bully prevention workshops for parents throughout the country. We provide best practices that are effective, safe and empowering. Our experience has been that when it comes to their kids getting bullied, most parents understand that a physical response or verbal comeback does more harm than good.
Of course, they want to know what to suggest to their child to stop the bullying while maintaining safety and self-esteem. Many parents are familiar with suggestions such as ignore verbal taunts, walk away when someone is bothering you and telling the bully, “Stop.” They ask if these are valid strategies.
The answer is yes, they are effective strategies -- when done correctly. The key to success is the details and practice. We teach the detail of these strategies through role-playing (very effective and a lot of fun for Mike as he gets to bully me).
When I role-play ignoring or walking away from Mike the Bully, I do it without showing emotion or gesturing in any manner that will reinforce him. My style expresses confidence and a refusal to get caught in his trap. I show the audience how to “be boring” so the bully just gives up. Simply put, I’m no fun to bully.
And when I choose to tell the bully to “Stop” or “Cut it out,” I keep a distance of 1.5 - 2 arm lengths while making eye contact and using strong body language and tone of voice. Strong body language means my head is up, my back straight and my hands are by my sides or down in front. I limit any extra movement in my body, head and eyes. My tone of voice is controlled, yet neutral; it expresses seriousness and confidence.
Although the suggestions aren’t necessarily new to our audience, our “show” demonstrates the details of these strategies and parents literally see the importance of role-playing bullying scenarios with their child in a safe environment. Role-playing is vital for children to be confident that when they are in an actual bullying situation, and there is real emotion involved, they can respond effectively to stop the bullying.
Ultimately, audience members say, “This is great stuff! I’ve been writing notes on your handouts, but do you have those details in a book?” In the past, we’d respond, “We’re working on it.” As most of our readers know, our book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression, is now available. Although written for educators, each lesson and activity can be taught, discussed and practiced at home between parent and child(ren). Chapter 5, Teaching Assertiveness and Chapter 6, Responding to a Bully, detail these strategies in an easy to read manner with fun activities to practice.
Thanks for asking and as always, we look forward to your feedback.
Steve
For more information on how to prevent bullying, visit the bullying experts at http://www.balanceeducationalservices.com/index.html.
Of course, they want to know what to suggest to their child to stop the bullying while maintaining safety and self-esteem. Many parents are familiar with suggestions such as ignore verbal taunts, walk away when someone is bothering you and telling the bully, “Stop.” They ask if these are valid strategies.
The answer is yes, they are effective strategies -- when done correctly. The key to success is the details and practice. We teach the detail of these strategies through role-playing (very effective and a lot of fun for Mike as he gets to bully me).
When I role-play ignoring or walking away from Mike the Bully, I do it without showing emotion or gesturing in any manner that will reinforce him. My style expresses confidence and a refusal to get caught in his trap. I show the audience how to “be boring” so the bully just gives up. Simply put, I’m no fun to bully.
And when I choose to tell the bully to “Stop” or “Cut it out,” I keep a distance of 1.5 - 2 arm lengths while making eye contact and using strong body language and tone of voice. Strong body language means my head is up, my back straight and my hands are by my sides or down in front. I limit any extra movement in my body, head and eyes. My tone of voice is controlled, yet neutral; it expresses seriousness and confidence.
Although the suggestions aren’t necessarily new to our audience, our “show” demonstrates the details of these strategies and parents literally see the importance of role-playing bullying scenarios with their child in a safe environment. Role-playing is vital for children to be confident that when they are in an actual bullying situation, and there is real emotion involved, they can respond effectively to stop the bullying.
Ultimately, audience members say, “This is great stuff! I’ve been writing notes on your handouts, but do you have those details in a book?” In the past, we’d respond, “We’re working on it.” As most of our readers know, our book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression, is now available. Although written for educators, each lesson and activity can be taught, discussed and practiced at home between parent and child(ren). Chapter 5, Teaching Assertiveness and Chapter 6, Responding to a Bully, detail these strategies in an easy to read manner with fun activities to practice.
Thanks for asking and as always, we look forward to your feedback.
Steve
For more information on how to prevent bullying, visit the bullying experts at http://www.balanceeducationalservices.com/index.html.
Monday, September 8, 2008
Schools, Cell Phones and Cyber-Bullying
Many schools struggle with policy regarding the use of cell phones by students. Concerns range from using it during teaching time, cheating on tests and cyber-bullying. Some students and parents claim it is important for them to have cell phones to contact parents. The bottom line is the almost everyone has a cell phone these days. Presently, many schools are reconsidering their ‘no cell phones’ policy. (At least) one high school in VT said they have bigger issues to deal with than to fight a losing battle in regard to banning cell phones. The school administration has decided that students will be allowed to have them, but it will be confiscated if used at inappropriate times. Click here to read the article entitled “MAU to allow cell phones; admits enforcement failure.”
This decision was hotly debated at a school board meeting. Overall, board members would prefer no cell phones in school, but accept that the new policy was realistic and made sense. Of course, there was some dissent. One board member said “I hope (parents) would say, 'Don't bring your God damn cell phones to school,'" He also added that he does not own a cell phone and never will.
In my opinion this person is out of touch with millions of teens, tweens and adults. Cell phones are a part of the culture and some variation of them will continue for the foreseeable future. Banning cell phones just won’t work, as this school has indicated. Students will find a way to have and use them during the school day. And if they use it ‘under the radar,” there is an even greater chance they will use it inappropriately.
I think schools need to deal with reality. Teaching students how and when to use their phones respectfully is a skill they will need throughout their lives, especially in the workplace. School staff have an opportunity they need to take advantage of. With student input, staff can and should create logical cell phone usage rules and consequences that can be respected by all. Like it or not, schools have to deal with the issue and need to work with the culture. It’s a great opportunity to teach our young people cultural rules and respect.
Steve
For more strategies to teach proper use of cell phones in school, contact me at Steve@BalanceEducationalServices.com
This decision was hotly debated at a school board meeting. Overall, board members would prefer no cell phones in school, but accept that the new policy was realistic and made sense. Of course, there was some dissent. One board member said “I hope (parents) would say, 'Don't bring your God damn cell phones to school,'" He also added that he does not own a cell phone and never will.
In my opinion this person is out of touch with millions of teens, tweens and adults. Cell phones are a part of the culture and some variation of them will continue for the foreseeable future. Banning cell phones just won’t work, as this school has indicated. Students will find a way to have and use them during the school day. And if they use it ‘under the radar,” there is an even greater chance they will use it inappropriately.
I think schools need to deal with reality. Teaching students how and when to use their phones respectfully is a skill they will need throughout their lives, especially in the workplace. School staff have an opportunity they need to take advantage of. With student input, staff can and should create logical cell phone usage rules and consequences that can be respected by all. Like it or not, schools have to deal with the issue and need to work with the culture. It’s a great opportunity to teach our young people cultural rules and respect.
Steve
For more strategies to teach proper use of cell phones in school, contact me at Steve@BalanceEducationalServices.com
Friday, September 5, 2008
How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression Top Rated
We just received an update from our publisher Corwin Press; our book received top rankings as one of the most viewed books in August! How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression: Elementary Grade Lessons and Activites That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect encourages respectful, positive-social behavior in all students! A user-friendly resource that offers fun and meaningful interactive lessons and activities that support student safety and well-being, promote healthy social-emotional development, and improve academic achievement, the book includes:
- Step-by-step guidelines for each activity
- Sidebars, sample scripts, and icons that hightlight important information
- A supply list of common classroom items for quick and easy implementation
- Suggestions for enhancing lessons
Thursday, September 4, 2008
Preventing Massacres through Bully Prevention
Bullying Leads to Massacres is an article discussing human’s innate desire for revenge when they feel wronged. In his book, Beyond Revenge, researcher Michael McCullough discusses how people who have been chronically bullied can go to extremes in their revenge with a shooting rampage. He discusses that this action does not necessarily indicate mental illness.
McCullough discusses how, in general, a breakdown of law and order can lead to hurtful behaviors that create a revenge factor for those who feel wronged. Bullying in school or the workplace, when allowed to fester, is also a breakdown of law and order. McCullough goes on to discuss solutions, of which many have to be implemented. I like to focus on solutions, too.
Stopping bullying and social aggression in school takes the efforts of all people involved – student, staff and parents. It begins with leadership. School leaders need to make sure that bully prevention strategies go beyond the rhetoric of “No Bullying.” A good beginning is to make sure all are on the same page of what bullying is and what behaviors are considered bullying.
Bullying is when a person or group uses their power to intimidate or hurt another. Bullying can be expressed physically, verbally, socially and technologically (cyber bullying). All types of bullying are damaging and must be stopped. Not all people are aware of these definitions and descriptions. Depending on gender, age, area of upbringing (city, suburban, rural), experience with bullying, experience with domestic violence, etc. can influence how a person interprets these behaviors. What is “no big deal” to one person can be devastating to another. It is vital that school leaders make sure all students, parents and staff (administrators, teachers, bus drivers, janitors, counselors, nurses, volunteers, etc.) know what bullying is and their responsibility if they witness or know about bullying.
Staff needs to know how to respond if they witness or hear about bullying. Students need to know how to stop their peers from bullying and, if necessary, when to report it. Parents need to know the signs if their child is bullied or bullies and how to work with the school to make sure their child is safe and treats others respectfully. Discussion, lesson plans and workshops discussing these issues are vital and fulfill education guidelines. In some states, it is required by law. Ultimately they increase academic success.
Getting everyone on the same page is a vital aspect to stop bullying. Recognizing and stopping bullying leads to understanding community expectations and moral obligations. Unfortunately, it is not an exaggeration to say that when people allow others to hurt and abuse others, it comes back to haunt us all. Fortunately, a school massacre is rare, but the negative effects of allowing others to be hurt, hurts us all.
If all involved parties do their part to stop bullying, perhaps we can prevent another school massacre,
There are lots of bully prevention ideas. We’d like to hear some of yours.
Steve
McCullough discusses how, in general, a breakdown of law and order can lead to hurtful behaviors that create a revenge factor for those who feel wronged. Bullying in school or the workplace, when allowed to fester, is also a breakdown of law and order. McCullough goes on to discuss solutions, of which many have to be implemented. I like to focus on solutions, too.
Stopping bullying and social aggression in school takes the efforts of all people involved – student, staff and parents. It begins with leadership. School leaders need to make sure that bully prevention strategies go beyond the rhetoric of “No Bullying.” A good beginning is to make sure all are on the same page of what bullying is and what behaviors are considered bullying.
Bullying is when a person or group uses their power to intimidate or hurt another. Bullying can be expressed physically, verbally, socially and technologically (cyber bullying). All types of bullying are damaging and must be stopped. Not all people are aware of these definitions and descriptions. Depending on gender, age, area of upbringing (city, suburban, rural), experience with bullying, experience with domestic violence, etc. can influence how a person interprets these behaviors. What is “no big deal” to one person can be devastating to another. It is vital that school leaders make sure all students, parents and staff (administrators, teachers, bus drivers, janitors, counselors, nurses, volunteers, etc.) know what bullying is and their responsibility if they witness or know about bullying.
Staff needs to know how to respond if they witness or hear about bullying. Students need to know how to stop their peers from bullying and, if necessary, when to report it. Parents need to know the signs if their child is bullied or bullies and how to work with the school to make sure their child is safe and treats others respectfully. Discussion, lesson plans and workshops discussing these issues are vital and fulfill education guidelines. In some states, it is required by law. Ultimately they increase academic success.
Getting everyone on the same page is a vital aspect to stop bullying. Recognizing and stopping bullying leads to understanding community expectations and moral obligations. Unfortunately, it is not an exaggeration to say that when people allow others to hurt and abuse others, it comes back to haunt us all. Fortunately, a school massacre is rare, but the negative effects of allowing others to be hurt, hurts us all.
If all involved parties do their part to stop bullying, perhaps we can prevent another school massacre,
There are lots of bully prevention ideas. We’d like to hear some of yours.
Steve
Monday, September 1, 2008
In Texas School, Teachers Carry Books and Guns
I was reading The New York Times, August 29th edition, and came across an article discussing the decision by the school board in Harrold, Texas to allow teachers to carry concealed weapons in school. Here is the link so you can read it too: In Texas School, Teachers Carry Books and Guns
I do not think this is a wise decision by the Board for several reasons.
In general, more guns in schools mean more opportunity for something to go wrong and end in tragedy, even if the teacher is well trained in gun safety.
Also, this decision, while well meaning, doesn’t get to the facts of school shootings or the situation in Harrold, Texas. Although Superintendent David Thweatt expresses concern over the possibility of a drifter becoming a school shooter, school shootings are rarely committed by random drifters. The vast majority of school shootings fall into two main groups; gang related shootings and Columbine-type shootings. Gang related shootings are self-explanatory, Columbine-type shootings are committed by students who have been bullied, often in socially stratified schools with winner/loser cultures, where long-term bullying exists. Were this is the case in Harrold, Texas, it would be wiser for the administration to work on the school climate and develop effective bully prevention procedures that staff can easily enforce.
I was also concerned by the apparent lack of community input into the decision. An important decision such as this needs a strong community backing or should not be done at all.
What do you think? Post your opinion. Mike
I do not think this is a wise decision by the Board for several reasons.
In general, more guns in schools mean more opportunity for something to go wrong and end in tragedy, even if the teacher is well trained in gun safety.
Also, this decision, while well meaning, doesn’t get to the facts of school shootings or the situation in Harrold, Texas. Although Superintendent David Thweatt expresses concern over the possibility of a drifter becoming a school shooter, school shootings are rarely committed by random drifters. The vast majority of school shootings fall into two main groups; gang related shootings and Columbine-type shootings. Gang related shootings are self-explanatory, Columbine-type shootings are committed by students who have been bullied, often in socially stratified schools with winner/loser cultures, where long-term bullying exists. Were this is the case in Harrold, Texas, it would be wiser for the administration to work on the school climate and develop effective bully prevention procedures that staff can easily enforce.
I was also concerned by the apparent lack of community input into the decision. An important decision such as this needs a strong community backing or should not be done at all.
What do you think? Post your opinion. Mike
Michael Phelps, his Mom and Dealing with Bullies
As a bully prevention expert, I help teach kids to stop bullying other kids. There is no one bully prevention strategy – there are many effective approaches. Some focus on helping targets of bullying be less of a target.
I thought about this as I read stories about how Olympic champ Michael Phelps was bullied as a child. I appreciate how his mother, Debbie Phelps, focused on solutions to help her son, not the problem. Young Michael was bullied because of his looks and behavior. He was diagnosed with ADHD; couldn’t sit still, focus or be quiet. His mother stated, “he also grew unevenly; his arms were unusually long and made him a target of hurtful, insulting bullying.” Because of these struggles, Phelps described himself as, “quiet, introspective and angry growing up, deeply hurt of being bullied by other children.”
Ms. Phelps couldn’t undo her son’s ADHD, or his body type, so she focused on what she could do. She worked with his teachers to make sure they figured out ways to teach Michael successfully. She had him take Ritalin to treat his hyperactivity, and although there was some success with it, she took him off it when he requested – thus respecting and empowering him. She helped him study and when necessary, found tutors. And she found something he was good at and loved – swimming.
These actions helped Michael develop self-esteem and resiliency. But still, for a while, the bullying continued. "He got a hard time about being a swimmer and not a football or lacrosse player," said one high-school classmate. However, mother and son turned the challenge into a strength. "The bullying and adversity made him be stronger and work harder," his mother is quoted.
Michaels story should not make us think that being bullied is advantageous because it toughens a kid up or will turn targets into champions. That is faulty logic with no basis in fact. However, it does show that there are many strategies parents can use when their child is bullied. Addressing challenges proactively can lead to stopping the bullying and developing a child with resiliency and good self-esteem.
If your child is being bullied:
· Work with your child’s teachers to make sure your child is safe, physically and emotionally. Discuss how you want them to respond if they witness hurtful behavior by other children. Also, let them know how you want them to respond if your child acts inappropriately
· With your child, determine where it is safe to be, in school and out, where they won’t be bullied or mistreated.
· Discuss the qualities they want in friends and how to respond if friends do not treat them respectfully.
· Together, work on developing social skills that will be appreciated by their peers.
· Help your child determine their interest in activities and hobbies such as sports, music, theater, computer games, and crafts. Help your child get together with others who are interested in the same activities. As necessary, provide physical training to bring them up to a level that will be valued by their peers.
· Discuss how to respond, effectively yet non-violently, if someone does or says something that is abusive or hurtful.
· Talk about when to go to you or another trusted adult if the bullying continues. Also, discuss the difference between tattling and telling (it is not tattling if they are getting help for a situation they tried to resolve or found to be too dangerous).
- Steve
I’m interested in hearing your ideas about helping targets of bullying deal with the challenge. Post here or email me at Steve@BalanceEducationalServices.com
Friday, August 15, 2008
Our New Book Is Now Available!
Our new book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression: Elementary Grade Lessons That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect, has hit the shelves of bookstores and has gotten great reviews. Take a look at what noted authors James Garbarino (And Words Can Hurt Forever & Lost Boys), Cheryl Delasega (Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, & Mean Girls Grown Up) and Alan Beane (The Bully Free Program) had to say:
“Once educators appreciate the psychological and social significance of bullying, harassment and emotional violence in school they are ready to translate that awareness into concrete actions to change the direction of social climate in the classroom, in the hallways, in the cafeteria, in the gym, and on the playground. This is where How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression comes in. In it Breakstone and his colleagues offer a well grounded strategy and a series of tactical exercises designed to accomplish this critical mission. I recommend it!” James Garbarino, PhD, Director, Center for the Human Rights of Children at Loyola University Chicago and author of And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence & Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent & How We Can Save Them
“The founders of Balance Educational Services have provided a practical book packed with the kinds of anti-bullying strategies teachers, coaches, therapists, and kids regularly request. Rather than cite statistics and share stories, these authors hit the ground running by encouraging both adults and youth to take action. Every chapter is packed with tips on how to stay physically and emotionally safe when bullying occurs. Using a dynamic and interactive style, children are coached to practice assertive behaviors and avoid the victim role. The authors’ guide to understanding friendship qualities will help many children recognize more subtle and social forms of aggression. Throughout, realistic drawings offer additional clarification. Aimed at younger students, the numerous easy-to-implement activities involve appropriate humor, engagement of the group, and a clear approach to understanding and responding to bullying. Students can keep the lists of common conflict situations and assertive communication statements handy as prompts or for practice.” Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Humanities, Penn State College of Medicine and Professor of Women's Studies at Penn State University, Founder of Club Ophelia and author of Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, & Mean Girls Grown Up
“This timely book includes perfectly sequenced, content enriched and practical lessons that will enhance any anti-bullying effort. The student-focused activities will facilitate and maintain learning of important anti-bullying concepts that can never be over emphasized.” Allan L. Beane, Ph.D., Founder and President, Bully Free Systems, LLC, and author of The Bully Free Program
“Once educators appreciate the psychological and social significance of bullying, harassment and emotional violence in school they are ready to translate that awareness into concrete actions to change the direction of social climate in the classroom, in the hallways, in the cafeteria, in the gym, and on the playground. This is where How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression comes in. In it Breakstone and his colleagues offer a well grounded strategy and a series of tactical exercises designed to accomplish this critical mission. I recommend it!” James Garbarino, PhD, Director, Center for the Human Rights of Children at Loyola University Chicago and author of And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence & Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent & How We Can Save Them
“The founders of Balance Educational Services have provided a practical book packed with the kinds of anti-bullying strategies teachers, coaches, therapists, and kids regularly request. Rather than cite statistics and share stories, these authors hit the ground running by encouraging both adults and youth to take action. Every chapter is packed with tips on how to stay physically and emotionally safe when bullying occurs. Using a dynamic and interactive style, children are coached to practice assertive behaviors and avoid the victim role. The authors’ guide to understanding friendship qualities will help many children recognize more subtle and social forms of aggression. Throughout, realistic drawings offer additional clarification. Aimed at younger students, the numerous easy-to-implement activities involve appropriate humor, engagement of the group, and a clear approach to understanding and responding to bullying. Students can keep the lists of common conflict situations and assertive communication statements handy as prompts or for practice.” Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Humanities, Penn State College of Medicine and Professor of Women's Studies at Penn State University, Founder of Club Ophelia and author of Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, & Mean Girls Grown Up
“This timely book includes perfectly sequenced, content enriched and practical lessons that will enhance any anti-bullying effort. The student-focused activities will facilitate and maintain learning of important anti-bullying concepts that can never be over emphasized.” Allan L. Beane, Ph.D., Founder and President, Bully Free Systems, LLC, and author of The Bully Free Program
Sunday, August 3, 2008
Our new book will be here soon!
Our new book, How to Stop Bullying & Social Aggression: Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect, provides practical, solutions-oriented strategies to reduce bullying among children and adolescents. The book’s lessons and activities are easy-to-use, fun and interactive, and include a variety of scripts and other helpful tools that engage honest dialogues and teach pro-social skills that replace bullying and other hurtful behaviors. How to Stop Bullying & Social Aggression will be released on August 11, 2008.
Kick-start a Healthy School Year by Preventing Bullying and Encouraging Respect and Empathy
Press Release: Manchester, VT
Back-to-school season is filled with anxieties about new teachers, increased workloads and, often, how to avoid the dreaded classroom bullies.
Although boys have the reputation of being more physical and girls more verbal, all children have the potential to bully physically, verbally, socially, and through the use of technology (cyber-bullying). Although bullying peaks between fifth grade and ninth grade, it is reported at all ages.
“Today, bullying frequently involves mean words, starting rumors or excluding a classmate from a certain clique,” said Steve Breakstone, co-founder of Balance Educational Services and co-author of the new book, How to Stop Bullying & Social Aggression: Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect.
“Ongoing bullying can lead to low self-esteem, criminal activity, domestic violence, suicide, and other self-destructive behaviors,” Breakstone continued.
“Bullying has been the root cause of a number of recent school shootings, including the terrifying incident at Columbine High School,” said Michael Dreiblatt, co-founder of Balance Educational Services and co-author of How to Stop Bullying & Social Aggression.
“The truth is that school violence is on the rise, and our educators and parents have to be pro-active about identifying – and modifying – bullying behavior,” Dreiblatt continued.
School administrators, teachers and staff should look for “warning signs” that students are bullying or being bullied, including:
- Diminishing grades
- Increased absenteeism
- Few friends and social networks
- Changes in attitude towards school, schoolmates and adults.
Parents of bullies may notice some of the following behaviors in their child:
- A need to dominate friends, schoolmates and siblings
- Bragging about superiority over others
- Oppositional, defiant, and aggressive behavior toward adults, including teachers and parents.
Parents of bullied children will notice major behavioral changes in their children, including:
- Personality
- Wardrobe
- Make-up
- Eating habits
- Sleeping patterns
- Anxiety levels
- Time spent alone
- Amount of time spent crying
- Other dramatic changes.
Important strategies to stop bullying in school include:
- Creating a school-wide “same page” understanding of what bullying behavior includes
- Teaching all staff to consistently respond to all bullying behaviors (i.e. “nip it in the bud”
- Teaching pro-social behaviors such as respect, empathy, and assertiveness
- Teaching and practicing pro-social skills
- Increasing adult supervision, especially in unstructured areas of the school.
- Providing appropriate role-models to teach bullies and targets new behaviors.
Bullying, if not handled correctly during the formative years, frequently leads to long-term problems in both the bully and the target. Bullying not only undermines a child’s self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe. Bullies are more likely to use alcohol and drugs, as well as face legal or criminal problems later in life. Targets often suffer from anxiety, depression, lack of focus and low self-esteem. These behaviors can also seep into the adult years and affect workplace interactions.
Research shows that schools with a unified violence prevention program cut their incidents of violence up to 70 percent and increased their academic standing. Visit http://www.balanceeducationalservices.com/ to learn more solutions to Stop Bullying Now!
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