As we look back on the tenth anniversary of the Columbine High School tragedy, we need to remember that bullying was a major factor in over 40 school shootings that took place during the past decade. Bullying can also lead to suicide, severe depression and anxiety, truancy, and dropping-out of school. We need to find a way to stop bullying in schools and to refute assumptions that this behavior is normal.
We need to create communities in schools and raise awareness of all parties involved including victims, bullies, and bystanders so that school social hierarchies are dismantled and students treat each other with sincere appreciation and respect.
Evidence suggests strong school communities -- where kids feel like they can come forward with problems -- can prevent violent crime.
"The first and best line of defense is always a well-trained, highly alert staff and student body," said Kenneth Trump, president of National School Safety and Security Services, an Ohio-based firm specializing in school security.
"The No. 1 way we find out about weapons in schools is not from a piece of equipment [such as a metal detector] but from a kid who comes forward and reports it to an adult that he or she trusts."
A 2008 Secret Service report found that in more than 80 percent of instances of school violence, at least one person, usually a fellow student or peer, had knowledge of the attackers' plans. If people who suspect a problem feel comfortable enough in school to tell a teacher or a principal, then attacks could be prevented.
Make sure your staff receives effective, high quality bullying prevention training. Call or email 1-866-768-4803 or info@BalanceEducationalServices.com to schedule a Fall '09 professional development presentation. www.Balance EducationalServices.com
Contributors John D. Sutter,CNN Jessie Klein, www.huffingtonpost.com
Friday, May 1, 2009
Thursday, March 26, 2009
Teenage Girls Stand by Their Man
Just read an interesting article about the pop singer Chris Brown, 19, who faces two felony charges for allegedly beating his girlfriend, the pop singer Rihanna, 21 (http://www.nytimes.com/2009/03/19/fashion/19brown.html?pagewanted=1&_r=2&th&emc=th ). In this article many of the girls defended Chris Brown and were angry at Rihanna.
“I thought she was lying, or that the tabloids were making it up,” one girl said.
Even after they saw a photo of Rihanna’s bloodied, bruised face, which had raced across the Internet, they still defended Mr. Brown. “She probably made him mad for him to react like that,” the other ninth grader said. “You know, like, bring it on?”
I don’t know what the true circumstances wee of this particular case, but I do know people often blame victims and protect aggressors. I have seen this in bullying situations, dating violence, and spousal abuse situations. For lessons on teaching empathy, friendship and respect go to http://www.balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html
“I thought she was lying, or that the tabloids were making it up,” one girl said.
Even after they saw a photo of Rihanna’s bloodied, bruised face, which had raced across the Internet, they still defended Mr. Brown. “She probably made him mad for him to react like that,” the other ninth grader said. “You know, like, bring it on?”
I don’t know what the true circumstances wee of this particular case, but I do know people often blame victims and protect aggressors. I have seen this in bullying situations, dating violence, and spousal abuse situations. For lessons on teaching empathy, friendship and respect go to http://www.balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Celebrity Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana was bullied, too!
Celebrity Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana was bullied, too!
Our most popular blog hits are about celebrities who were bullied as children. Here’s another. Miley Cyrus is coming out with a memoir "Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go," and in the book the teen star describes in depth the bullying she received from the "the Anti-Miley Club" in her pre-teen years growing up in Tennessee.
"The girls took it beyond normal bullying. These were big, tough girls," Cyrus says in the book, which hit stores on Tuesday. "I was scrawny and short. They were fully capable of doing me bodily harm."
During one of those instances, the mean girls locked Miley in the bathroom during class. "They shoved me in. I was trapped. I banged on the door until my fists hurt. Nobody came," she writes. "I spent what felt like an hour in there, waiting for someone to rescue me, wondering how my life had gotten so messed up."
Miley also describes how the girls escalated their bullying on the future star by confronting her and challenging her to a fight. "It seemed like Operation Make Miley Miserable was escalating to a new level. More like Operation Take Miley Down," she recalls. "Three girls strutted up and stood towering over me. My stomach churned. I clutched my grilled-cheese sandwich like it was the hand of my best friend. It pretty much was my best friend those days. I was done for.
"They started cussing me and telling me to get up. I sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do," she continues about the incident, which ended when the principal stepped in. "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said, 'What's your problem? What did I ever do to you?' "
Her classmates also teased her about her family, telling her, "Your dad's a one-hit wonder. You'll never amount to anything — just like him."
Some celebrities were bullied as children and became celebrities as adults. Miley’s stories are examples of a talented person from a celebrity family getting picked on. Sharing these stories about a teen idol being bullied with a youngster who is experiencing bullying can help show that targets are not losers. Targets are just that…targets of people have a need to abuse another. Sometimes misery loves company and if the company is Miley Cyrus, it may be comforting to a target.
Also note that Miley finally stood up for herself in an assertive, yet non-violent manner. It will be interesting to find out more details when the book comes out – especially to find out how well her response to bullying worked. Remember, in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression--Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect, we provide many strategies on how a person can effectively stop bullying.
Let us know if you read the book and if any stories ring true to you.
Steve
Our most popular blog hits are about celebrities who were bullied as children. Here’s another. Miley Cyrus is coming out with a memoir "Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go," and in the book the teen star describes in depth the bullying she received from the "the Anti-Miley Club" in her pre-teen years growing up in Tennessee.
"The girls took it beyond normal bullying. These were big, tough girls," Cyrus says in the book, which hit stores on Tuesday. "I was scrawny and short. They were fully capable of doing me bodily harm."
During one of those instances, the mean girls locked Miley in the bathroom during class. "They shoved me in. I was trapped. I banged on the door until my fists hurt. Nobody came," she writes. "I spent what felt like an hour in there, waiting for someone to rescue me, wondering how my life had gotten so messed up."
Miley also describes how the girls escalated their bullying on the future star by confronting her and challenging her to a fight. "It seemed like Operation Make Miley Miserable was escalating to a new level. More like Operation Take Miley Down," she recalls. "Three girls strutted up and stood towering over me. My stomach churned. I clutched my grilled-cheese sandwich like it was the hand of my best friend. It pretty much was my best friend those days. I was done for.
"They started cussing me and telling me to get up. I sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do," she continues about the incident, which ended when the principal stepped in. "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said, 'What's your problem? What did I ever do to you?' "
Her classmates also teased her about her family, telling her, "Your dad's a one-hit wonder. You'll never amount to anything — just like him."
Some celebrities were bullied as children and became celebrities as adults. Miley’s stories are examples of a talented person from a celebrity family getting picked on. Sharing these stories about a teen idol being bullied with a youngster who is experiencing bullying can help show that targets are not losers. Targets are just that…targets of people have a need to abuse another. Sometimes misery loves company and if the company is Miley Cyrus, it may be comforting to a target.
Also note that Miley finally stood up for herself in an assertive, yet non-violent manner. It will be interesting to find out more details when the book comes out – especially to find out how well her response to bullying worked. Remember, in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression--Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect, we provide many strategies on how a person can effectively stop bullying.
Let us know if you read the book and if any stories ring true to you.
Steve
Sunday, January 18, 2009
DVD teaches autistic kids what a smile means
DVD teaches autistic kids what a smile means is an article about using technology to further social learning. The DVD mentioned in the article teaches autistic children how to recognize emotions like happiness, anger and sadness through the exploits of vehicles including a train, a ferry, and a cable car. Has anyone else found technology or software to further social learning?
A Sisterhood of Workplace Infighting
An interesting article concerning women and workplace bullying can be found at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/11/jobs/11pre.html?_r=1&em. It is called A Sisterhood of Workplace Infighting.
I thought this was an interesting section:
But while women have come a long way in removing workplace barriers, one of the last remaining obstacles is how they treat one another.
Instead of helping to build one another’s careers, they sometimes derail them for example, by limiting access to important meetings and committees; withholding information, assignments and promotions; or blocking the way to mentors and higher-ups.
And if you are a woman and happen to have a female co-worker who is a bully, watch out. A recent study by the Workplace Bullying Institute examining office behaviors like verbal abuse, job sabotage, misuse of authority and destroying of relationships found that female bullies aim at other women more than 70 percent of the time. Bullies who are men, by contrast, tend to be equal-opportunity tormentors when it comes to the gender of their target.
I am interested in hearing if others agree that females tend to bully other females while males bully both male and female. What has been your experience?
You can get more information about workplace bullying at Bnet.com. Go to http://resources.bnet.com/index.php?q=How+to+Handle+a+Workplace+Bully
I thought this was an interesting section:
But while women have come a long way in removing workplace barriers, one of the last remaining obstacles is how they treat one another.
Instead of helping to build one another’s careers, they sometimes derail them for example, by limiting access to important meetings and committees; withholding information, assignments and promotions; or blocking the way to mentors and higher-ups.
And if you are a woman and happen to have a female co-worker who is a bully, watch out. A recent study by the Workplace Bullying Institute examining office behaviors like verbal abuse, job sabotage, misuse of authority and destroying of relationships found that female bullies aim at other women more than 70 percent of the time. Bullies who are men, by contrast, tend to be equal-opportunity tormentors when it comes to the gender of their target.
I am interested in hearing if others agree that females tend to bully other females while males bully both male and female. What has been your experience?
You can get more information about workplace bullying at Bnet.com. Go to http://resources.bnet.com/index.php?q=How+to+Handle+a+Workplace+Bully
Monday, January 12, 2009
Movie: An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong -- My thoughts
I recently viewed the movie An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong. It’s about a fourth grader and her friends who deal with bullying from a more popular girl in their class. I recommend it for kids between 2nd and 5th grade. Older kids might enjoy it, too, and I’m sure can relate to some of the bullying issues and how easily some adults just ‘miss’ the aggressive behaviors that is right in front of their face. Children, parents and educators can all learn good bully prevention strategies which is the strong point of this movie.
The bullying was realistic and showed examples of physical, verbal, social and cyber bullying. Some of the bullying was more sophisticated than average 4th graders might express, but then again, some bullies are way above average. Chrissa, the main victim, and other victims were typical 4th grade girls who, realistically, didn’t know how to deal with the situation. The bullying continued until situations had risen to a level whereby parents and teachers had to be involved. Often, the kids themselves made some very good choices, too, to stop the bullying.
The adults didn’t handle the situations very well at first. For instance, trying to find out who the main culprit was in a given situation, the principal and classroom teacher asked the students for information while all the students - victims, aggressors, and bystanders - were all together. Of course, no one was willing to risk speaking up. Separate discussions would be much more effective. Also, some of the consequences imparted on the aggressors had nothing to do with the bullying. I would have liked to see consequences that would teach pro-social behaviors and empathy instead of suspension and ‘towel clean-up’ that had nothing to do with the offense. Changing behavior and/or teaching replacement skills is a lot more effective in stopping a bully from bullying again. Of course, if the adults had taught all the students how to react to bullying before bullying began, and/or had ‘nipped’ the bullying in the bud before it got severe, this would have been a very short movie.
The movie accurately expressed how confusing a bullying situation can be for any young child. Without information and strategies to deal with bullying, the children in this movie used trial and error solutions such as hiding in toilet stalls, staying home from school, and avoiding after school activities. They were also hesitant to talk to adults. Fortunately, it addressed these realistic responses with ultimately having the children learn that talking to an adult is not tattling, but asking for help. Ultimately, the adults were very helpful. To move the story along, the writer had them be somewhat clueless and naïve at first, but they were always supportive and came through in the end to help the victims.
The movie is enjoyable to watch and many youngsters will be able to relate to the storyline. I recommend the movie as an opportunity to discuss bullying with children and strategies they can implement if they are bullied or witness bullying. In real life, we want kids and adults to know how to stop bullying before it becomes an abusive situation that last for weeks. At the risk of being self-serving, using the lessons and activities in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression would help children learn the skills the characters in the movie would have appreciated, such as how to stand up to a bully, how to stop a peer from bullying another, and how to determine when talking to an adult is telling and not tattling.
Check out the table of contents of our book to get idea of what skills kids need to develop to stop bullying. Or, for sample lessons go to http://balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html
If you saw the movie, share your thoughts.
Steve
The bullying was realistic and showed examples of physical, verbal, social and cyber bullying. Some of the bullying was more sophisticated than average 4th graders might express, but then again, some bullies are way above average. Chrissa, the main victim, and other victims were typical 4th grade girls who, realistically, didn’t know how to deal with the situation. The bullying continued until situations had risen to a level whereby parents and teachers had to be involved. Often, the kids themselves made some very good choices, too, to stop the bullying.
The adults didn’t handle the situations very well at first. For instance, trying to find out who the main culprit was in a given situation, the principal and classroom teacher asked the students for information while all the students - victims, aggressors, and bystanders - were all together. Of course, no one was willing to risk speaking up. Separate discussions would be much more effective. Also, some of the consequences imparted on the aggressors had nothing to do with the bullying. I would have liked to see consequences that would teach pro-social behaviors and empathy instead of suspension and ‘towel clean-up’ that had nothing to do with the offense. Changing behavior and/or teaching replacement skills is a lot more effective in stopping a bully from bullying again. Of course, if the adults had taught all the students how to react to bullying before bullying began, and/or had ‘nipped’ the bullying in the bud before it got severe, this would have been a very short movie.
The movie accurately expressed how confusing a bullying situation can be for any young child. Without information and strategies to deal with bullying, the children in this movie used trial and error solutions such as hiding in toilet stalls, staying home from school, and avoiding after school activities. They were also hesitant to talk to adults. Fortunately, it addressed these realistic responses with ultimately having the children learn that talking to an adult is not tattling, but asking for help. Ultimately, the adults were very helpful. To move the story along, the writer had them be somewhat clueless and naïve at first, but they were always supportive and came through in the end to help the victims.
The movie is enjoyable to watch and many youngsters will be able to relate to the storyline. I recommend the movie as an opportunity to discuss bullying with children and strategies they can implement if they are bullied or witness bullying. In real life, we want kids and adults to know how to stop bullying before it becomes an abusive situation that last for weeks. At the risk of being self-serving, using the lessons and activities in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression would help children learn the skills the characters in the movie would have appreciated, such as how to stand up to a bully, how to stop a peer from bullying another, and how to determine when talking to an adult is telling and not tattling.
Check out the table of contents of our book to get idea of what skills kids need to develop to stop bullying. Or, for sample lessons go to http://balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html
If you saw the movie, share your thoughts.
Steve
Friday, January 2, 2009
Radio Interview Posted
Happy New Year everyone!
We have a new 20 minute radio interview posted to our website. It’s a clear, concise and interesting (even if I say so myself) interview by veteran radio man Rich Ryder of WBTN in Vermont, USA. On our "media page" click on the link under "Hear Mike and Steve" that reads "Radio Interview - WBTN."
Feel free to share the interview with any friends, or friends who have children or students, who are having issues with bullying.
We wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009
Steve
We have a new 20 minute radio interview posted to our website. It’s a clear, concise and interesting (even if I say so myself) interview by veteran radio man Rich Ryder of WBTN in Vermont, USA. On our "media page" click on the link under "Hear Mike and Steve" that reads "Radio Interview - WBTN."
Feel free to share the interview with any friends, or friends who have children or students, who are having issues with bullying.
We wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009
Steve
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