Movie: An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong -- My thoughts

I recently viewed the movie An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong. It’s about a fourth grader and her friends who deal with bullying from a more popular girl in their class. I recommend it for kids between 2nd and 5th grade. Older kids might enjoy it, too, and I’m sure can relate to some of the bullying issues and how easily some adults just ‘miss’ the aggressive behaviors that is right in front of their face. Children, parents and educators can all learn good bully prevention strategies which is the strong point of this movie.

The bullying was realistic and showed examples of physical, verbal, social and cyber bullying. Some of the bullying was more sophisticated than average 4th graders might express, but then again, some bullies are way above average. Chrissa, the main victim, and other victims were typical 4th grade girls who, realistically, didn’t know how to deal with the situation. The bullying continued until situations had risen to a level whereby parents and teachers had to be involved. Often, the kids themselves made some very good choices, too, to stop the bullying.

The adults didn’t handle the situations very well at first. For instance, trying to find out who the main culprit was in a given situation, the principal and classroom teacher asked the students for information while all the students - victims, aggressors, and bystanders - were all together. Of course, no one was willing to risk speaking up. Separate discussions would be much more effective. Also, some of the consequences imparted on the aggressors had nothing to do with the bullying. I would have liked to see consequences that would teach pro-social behaviors and empathy instead of suspension and ‘towel clean-up’ that had nothing to do with the offense. Changing behavior and/or teaching replacement skills is a lot more effective in stopping a bully from bullying again. Of course, if the adults had taught all the students how to react to bullying before bullying began, and/or had ‘nipped’ the bullying in the bud before it got severe, this would have been a very short movie.

The movie accurately expressed how confusing a bullying situation can be for any young child. Without information and strategies to deal with bullying, the children in this movie used trial and error solutions such as hiding in toilet stalls, staying home from school, and avoiding after school activities. They were also hesitant to talk to adults. Fortunately, it addressed these realistic responses with ultimately having the children learn that talking to an adult is not tattling, but asking for help. Ultimately, the adults were very helpful. To move the story along, the writer had them be somewhat clueless and naïve at first, but they were always supportive and came through in the end to help the victims.

The movie is enjoyable to watch and many youngsters will be able to relate to the storyline. I recommend the movie as an opportunity to discuss bullying with children and strategies they can implement if they are bullied or witness bullying. In real life, we want kids and adults to know how to stop bullying before it becomes an abusive situation that last for weeks. At the risk of being self-serving, using the lessons and activities in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression would help children learn the skills the characters in the movie would have appreciated, such as how to stand up to a bully, how to stop a peer from bullying another, and how to determine when talking to an adult is telling and not tattling.

Check out the table of contents of our book to get idea of what skills kids need to develop to stop bullying. Or, for sample lessons go to http://balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html

If you saw the movie, share your thoughts.

Steve

Radio Interview Posted

Happy New Year everyone!

We have a new 20 minute radio interview posted to our website. It’s a clear, concise and interesting (even if I say so myself) interview by veteran radio man Rich Ryder of WBTN in Vermont, USA. On our "media page" click on the link under "Hear Mike and Steve" that reads "Radio Interview - WBTN."

Feel free to share the interview with any friends, or friends who have children or students, who are having issues with bullying.

We wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009

Steve

YouTube’s Abuse and Safety Center

Cyber bullying began with abusive text messaging, emails and websites. Then it carried over to social networks sites and videos transmitted over cell phones. Videos uploaded to YouTube have become another way to bully.

ISPs (internet service providers), cell phone carriers, social networks sites, and now YouTube have rules against such behavior, but these rules are rarely enforced. Still, the companies which provide the means for cyber bullying are, apparently, trying to take enforcement to the next level. Or so they publicize.

I read an article stating that YouTube, in its desire to be a safe and more appealing destination, has created a section on its site called the Abuse and Safety Center. The section offers information, reporting mechanisms, and resources for privacy and safety issues, including cyber bullying, hateful content and spam.

These providers create the means for reporting and stopping bullying. But users have to take advantage of it. Has anyone found that reporting cyber bullying to an ISP, social network or YouTube has helped stop cyber bullying? Did the service providers respond effectively? Did it empower the victims (targets) of the bullying? I’d like to share your stories on this blog and in our bully prevention presentations to students, educators and parents.

Send us your stories.
Steve

Kids Helping Bullied Kids

Kids are a big part of any bully prevention strategy.

Mike and I teach students how to stop bullying, not only if they are the victim, but if they see, hear or know about bullying towards others. Bystanders of bullying are the largest constituent of the bullying dynamic.

We teach students how to stop another from bullying, peacefully, safely and with limited risk to their social status. Choices include:
1. Tell the bullies to stop
2. Separate the bullies away from the person being bullied
3. Separate the person being bullied away from the bullies
4. Report to a trusted adult (it’s not tattling if you are helping someone)

There are other options, too. I came across two stories that are great examples of kids helping bullied kids.

The first story (Bully Control) is about a girl, Olivia, who had been directly bullied and cyber bullied. Two teen sisters from another school heard about this girl through a story in the San Francisco Chronicle. They launched a letter-writing campaign in which their classmates would write letters of encouragement to this girl. The idea gained popularity and more schools became involved. Then the media began reporting on Olivia's plight and the girls' campaign. Letters and e-mails poured in from all over the world with best wishes for Olivia.

The article included the steps the sisters had to go through, including working with adults, to lend support in a very compassionate and respectful manner. These steps would be helpful if you wanted to help kids do a similar act of kindness. P.S. This campaign of compassion was so successful they published a book called "Letters to a Bullied Girl: Messages of Healing and Hope."


The 2nd story is titled “Schools Awash in Pink Thursday for Stand Up to Bullying Day.” After a 9th grader was picked on for wearing a pink shirt on the first day of school last year at Central Kings School in Canada, two 12th grade students decided to take a stand against bullying. These students went out and bought pink shirts and gave them out to their classmates at their school, who wore them en masse to support the student who had been bullied and to send a message to bullies everywhere – back off. Since then, Stand Up Against Bullying Day was proclaimed by Premier Rodney MacDonald of Nova Scotia, Canada.

This particular story is from September, yet articles about schools with students taking similar initiatives (for instance, Students Wear Pink to Oppose Bullying) continue to come across my computer screen.

Teaching kids to help kids is a great bully prevention technique and can make every day ‘Stand up to a Bully’ day.

Balance Educational Services encourages you to share these stories with your students or children. It’s a great way to teach and reinforce empathy and social responsibility.

Please write us if you know of students who are doing other bully prevention activities. We’ll pass it along.

Steve