Sunday, January 18, 2009

DVD teaches autistic kids what a smile means

DVD teaches autistic kids what a smile means is an article about using technology to further social learning. The DVD mentioned in the article teaches autistic children how to recognize emotions like happiness, anger and sadness through the exploits of vehicles including a train, a ferry, and a cable car. Has anyone else found technology or software to further social learning?

A Sisterhood of Workplace Infighting

An interesting article concerning women and workplace bullying can be found at http://www.nytimes.com/2009/01/11/jobs/11pre.html?_r=1&em. It is called A Sisterhood of Workplace Infighting.

I thought this was an interesting section:

But while women have come a long way in removing workplace barriers, one of the last remaining obstacles is how they treat one another.
Instead of helping to build one another’s careers, they sometimes derail them for example, by limiting access to important meetings and committees; withholding information, assignments and promotions; or blocking the way to mentors and higher-ups.

And if you are a woman and happen to have a female co-worker who is a bully, watch out. A recent study by the Workplace Bullying Institute examining office behaviors like verbal abuse, job sabotage, misuse of authority and destroying of relationships found that female bullies aim at other women more than 70 percent of the time. Bullies who are men, by contrast, tend to be equal-opportunity tormentors when it comes to the gender of their target.

I am interested in hearing if others agree that females tend to bully other females while males bully both male and female. What has been your experience?

You can get more information about workplace bullying at Bnet.com. Go to http://resources.bnet.com/index.php?q=How+to+Handle+a+Workplace+Bully

Monday, January 12, 2009

Movie: An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong -- My thoughts

I recently viewed the movie An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong. It’s about a fourth grader and her friends who deal with bullying from a more popular girl in their class. I recommend it for kids between 2nd and 5th grade. Older kids might enjoy it, too, and I’m sure can relate to some of the bullying issues and how easily some adults just ‘miss’ the aggressive behaviors that is right in front of their face. Children, parents and educators can all learn good bully prevention strategies which is the strong point of this movie.

The bullying was realistic and showed examples of physical, verbal, social and cyber bullying. Some of the bullying was more sophisticated than average 4th graders might express, but then again, some bullies are way above average. Chrissa, the main victim, and other victims were typical 4th grade girls who, realistically, didn’t know how to deal with the situation. The bullying continued until situations had risen to a level whereby parents and teachers had to be involved. Often, the kids themselves made some very good choices, too, to stop the bullying.

The adults didn’t handle the situations very well at first. For instance, trying to find out who the main culprit was in a given situation, the principal and classroom teacher asked the students for information while all the students - victims, aggressors, and bystanders - were all together. Of course, no one was willing to risk speaking up. Separate discussions would be much more effective. Also, some of the consequences imparted on the aggressors had nothing to do with the bullying. I would have liked to see consequences that would teach pro-social behaviors and empathy instead of suspension and ‘towel clean-up’ that had nothing to do with the offense. Changing behavior and/or teaching replacement skills is a lot more effective in stopping a bully from bullying again. Of course, if the adults had taught all the students how to react to bullying before bullying began, and/or had ‘nipped’ the bullying in the bud before it got severe, this would have been a very short movie.

The movie accurately expressed how confusing a bullying situation can be for any young child. Without information and strategies to deal with bullying, the children in this movie used trial and error solutions such as hiding in toilet stalls, staying home from school, and avoiding after school activities. They were also hesitant to talk to adults. Fortunately, it addressed these realistic responses with ultimately having the children learn that talking to an adult is not tattling, but asking for help. Ultimately, the adults were very helpful. To move the story along, the writer had them be somewhat clueless and naïve at first, but they were always supportive and came through in the end to help the victims.

The movie is enjoyable to watch and many youngsters will be able to relate to the storyline. I recommend the movie as an opportunity to discuss bullying with children and strategies they can implement if they are bullied or witness bullying. In real life, we want kids and adults to know how to stop bullying before it becomes an abusive situation that last for weeks. At the risk of being self-serving, using the lessons and activities in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression would help children learn the skills the characters in the movie would have appreciated, such as how to stand up to a bully, how to stop a peer from bullying another, and how to determine when talking to an adult is telling and not tattling.

Check out the table of contents of our book to get idea of what skills kids need to develop to stop bullying. Or, for sample lessons go to http://balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html

If you saw the movie, share your thoughts.

Steve

Friday, January 2, 2009

Radio Interview Posted

Happy New Year everyone!

We have a new 20 minute radio interview posted to our website. It’s a clear, concise and interesting (even if I say so myself) interview by veteran radio man Rich Ryder of WBTN in Vermont, USA. On our "media page" click on the link under "Hear Mike and Steve" that reads "Radio Interview - WBTN."

Feel free to share the interview with any friends, or friends who have children or students, who are having issues with bullying.

We wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009

Steve

Monday, December 22, 2008

Just read a interesting story about offensive lineman for the University of Nebraska, Matt Slauson. Slauson talks honestly about problems faced by children who are different. In Matt’s case, the differences were his stuttering and his size. Life can have extra challenges for those who are different, but Matt faced his speech challenges head on. He also used his size to his advantage. See our November 25th blog about ending bullying by building up socially acceptable skills. Read the story about Matt at http://www.ketv.com/cnn-news/18336632/detail.html. Get bully prevention resources at http://www.balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html.
Mike

Friday, December 19, 2008

Boy Breaks Gender Barrier to Compete at Apollo Theater

Today's online version of the NY Times features of video of ZeAndre Orr, a Brownsville 5th grader at P.S 323, who weathered physical bullying and verbal harassment to follow his heart and join his school's double dutch jump rope team. Double dutch jump rope has long been a largely female sport and ZeAndre is one of only two male jumpers on his school's team.

Name calling, pushing, shoving, and tripping followed ZeAndre's decision to join the team. At one point, he was kicked down a flight of stairs. Although ZeAndre did consider quiting to avoid the bullying and harassment, he persisted in his dedication to the sport. ZeAndre was rewarded for his efforts with admittance into the annual Holiday Classic Double Dutch Competition at the famed Apollo Theater, one of the largest double dutch competitions in the country. Only the best jumpers from P.S. 323 were chosen to represent their school at the competition.

I really admire ZeAndre for not allowing others to keep him from participating in his chosen activity. As educators, we try to encourage children to find an activity they truly enjoy and pursue it with passion. It isn't easy to do this when there is community prejudice or a lack of support. Back when I was growing up, girls who wanted to participate in "boy" sports, such as soccer or baseball, were regularly taunted. Whether you are a girl breaking into a "boy " sport, or a boy breaking into a "girl" sport, the road to admittance is a tough one.

Of course, sports are not the only activities children can pursue. Art, music, writing, hiking, and woodcraft are just some of the additional possibilities. For ways to encourage your child to find their own niche, check the parent and student links on our Resources Page, have your school book a Parenting a Well Rounded Child workshop, or see our book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression: Elementary Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect.

To see the video about ZeAndre Orr, click here:
http://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/12/18/nyregion/1194835807850/brooklyns-jazzy-jumpers.html?th&emc=th.

Do you, your child or someone you know have experience in breaking gender boundaries? I'd love to hear what you have to say.

Karen

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Another Celebrity Steps Up to Stop Bullying

We get a lot of hits when we write about celebrities and bullying. Here's another story:

Lord of the Rings star Sir Ian McKellen went back to his home town in Wigan, UK to help a school launch a project to combat homophobic bullying (article). He’s working with a charity to promote safe and inclusive learning environments for youngsters and establish practical methods of addressing homophobia in schools.

Let’s hope that Gandalf the Wizard and/or Magneto (in the X-Men movies) can influence the kids to be more respectful and tolerant. Hollywood can influence kids to be naughty or nice. Here’s another example of using star-power for good.

If any of our UK readers have more details about Sir Ian's involvement with his hometown schools, please send it along.

Send any stories about celebrities helping to stop bullying. We'll post them.

Steve