Last month, we at www.BalanceEducationalServices.com, sent a newsletter to some of our readers concerning their states' bullying laws. One of our readers, a principal, commented about a proposed anti-bullying law.
Our reader stated "...Please realize that school personnel are working as hard as possible to deal with the problem in schools. There is nothing a law can do other than to create more paperwork and red tape, thus reducing the time that educators are able to actually work with kids. Probably the biggest help that a legislature could offer for this problem would be a law regulating kids' access to media offerings that model bullying behaviors. But the law that was proposed in Massachusetts simply added more requirements for schools to write and file reports about anti-bullying plans, thus adding yet another layer of paperwork and reducing the time I can spend actually working with kids and teachers."
I commented back thanking her for her insightful comments and I have thought about what she wrote. She was right that a law which creates more paperwork and red tape and takes away valuable teaching time would be counterproductive. On the other hand, a law that requires staff to intervene or report bullying to a higher authority when witnessed, would go a long way in lessening incidents of bullying. A law that requires staff to be appropriately trained in bully prevention techniques would be even more beneficial. At times it may feel unnecessary to have a law requiring such common sense actions as having staff intervene or be appropriately trained to stop inappropriate behavior. Unfortunately, too may staff members are not responding to bullying in an effective way, mostly due to lack of training. It is equally unfortunate that many schools and school districts would not provide appropriate training for their staff unless prompted to by law. Another layer of paperwork doesn’t help anyone. Another layer of training, especially for our paraprofessionals, aides, and bus drivers, the ones who are more likely to witness bullying, is invaluable.
I thanked her for her insightful comments. And thanked her for the good work she and her staff do on behalf of students.
What did you think about anti-bullying laws? Help or hinder? Post your comments now. Mike
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
Study: Aggressive kids from poor homes get bullied
Some children become chronically victimized early in their social development by their peers, and this may be more common in children who were aggressive in infancy, are from families with harsh parenting styles and insufficient income, according to an article released on October 6, 2008 in Archives of General Psychiatry, one of the JAMA/Archives journals (full article: How And Why Certain Children Receive Chronic Peer Abuse)
For me, this study is a reminder that common punitive consequences to bullying behavior or simplistic suggestions to targets of bullying (“just stand up to the bully”) are often meaningless. In many cases, the issues that cause someone to be aggressive or passive to such a point that they are chronically bullied have deep underlying causes. When an adult is working with a child who shows ongoing behaviors that perpetuate bullying, either as a bully or target, a deeper look into the background of the child can determine an effective plan of action to change the behavior that perpetuates the bullying.
A child’s personal history can’t be changed and a teacher may not be able to change the family dynamics, but a focused, well considered plan of action to teach pro-social behaviors to a child can effect his/her future. Taking this time is often difficult for many educators, considering all their responsibilities, but looking into a child's history, teaching pro-social skills, respect, citizenship, making healthy choices, etc. are part of each state’s education curriculum. It takes more time in the short run, but saves time, energy, resources, and frustration later.
This article focused mostly on insights into the commonality of those children who are chronically targeted. These children need assistance in understanding why they are abused and how to be assertive, be provided opportunities to enhance their self-esteem and develop healthy friendships and support systems. If they do not learn these skills, the abuse gets worse and often they become victims of domestic violence – dating/marrying aggressive people. On a similar note, some of these chronic targets develop a passive-aggressive style of behavior which is also inappropriate.
That got me thinking about aggressive children. Children who bully easy targets because they want to be the leader or ‘in charge’ need to learn how to accomplish that goal by gaining the respect of peers, as opposed to being feared by their peers. Those who use insulting humor to enhance a reputation of being funny (making bystanders laugh) need to learn how to be funny without being hurtful. This can be a tough skill to learn and master considering that put-downs and insults are a common comedic device on TV (a powerful role-model), but it can be done. Educators and parents need to remember that chronic bullies and targets need extra time learning respectful, pro-social skills like others need extra time learning math.
Studies, like the one referenced above, show that time and effort is being used to gain greater insight into the issue of bullying and that will lead to solutions. Children who learn how to get their needs met in a pro-social manner will become peaceful and respectful adults in the workplace and community. Politicians often mention the importance of learning math and science to be competitive in the global economy. I think it’s also important to balance that with happy, healthy, peaceful people.
I also suggest these articles regarding this study:
Why Some Kids Are Bullied From the Start (health.usnews.com)
Schoolyard Bullying: Which Kids Are Most Vulnerable? (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1850405,00.htm)
Steve
For ideas on how to teach pro-social skills, check out our book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression
For me, this study is a reminder that common punitive consequences to bullying behavior or simplistic suggestions to targets of bullying (“just stand up to the bully”) are often meaningless. In many cases, the issues that cause someone to be aggressive or passive to such a point that they are chronically bullied have deep underlying causes. When an adult is working with a child who shows ongoing behaviors that perpetuate bullying, either as a bully or target, a deeper look into the background of the child can determine an effective plan of action to change the behavior that perpetuates the bullying.
A child’s personal history can’t be changed and a teacher may not be able to change the family dynamics, but a focused, well considered plan of action to teach pro-social behaviors to a child can effect his/her future. Taking this time is often difficult for many educators, considering all their responsibilities, but looking into a child's history, teaching pro-social skills, respect, citizenship, making healthy choices, etc. are part of each state’s education curriculum. It takes more time in the short run, but saves time, energy, resources, and frustration later.
This article focused mostly on insights into the commonality of those children who are chronically targeted. These children need assistance in understanding why they are abused and how to be assertive, be provided opportunities to enhance their self-esteem and develop healthy friendships and support systems. If they do not learn these skills, the abuse gets worse and often they become victims of domestic violence – dating/marrying aggressive people. On a similar note, some of these chronic targets develop a passive-aggressive style of behavior which is also inappropriate.
That got me thinking about aggressive children. Children who bully easy targets because they want to be the leader or ‘in charge’ need to learn how to accomplish that goal by gaining the respect of peers, as opposed to being feared by their peers. Those who use insulting humor to enhance a reputation of being funny (making bystanders laugh) need to learn how to be funny without being hurtful. This can be a tough skill to learn and master considering that put-downs and insults are a common comedic device on TV (a powerful role-model), but it can be done. Educators and parents need to remember that chronic bullies and targets need extra time learning respectful, pro-social skills like others need extra time learning math.
Studies, like the one referenced above, show that time and effort is being used to gain greater insight into the issue of bullying and that will lead to solutions. Children who learn how to get their needs met in a pro-social manner will become peaceful and respectful adults in the workplace and community. Politicians often mention the importance of learning math and science to be competitive in the global economy. I think it’s also important to balance that with happy, healthy, peaceful people.
I also suggest these articles regarding this study:
Why Some Kids Are Bullied From the Start (health.usnews.com)
Schoolyard Bullying: Which Kids Are Most Vulnerable? (http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1850405,00.htm)
Steve
For ideas on how to teach pro-social skills, check out our book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression
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