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Showing posts with label bully. Show all posts
Showing posts with label bully. Show all posts
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
8 Things Parents Should Know About Bully
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
No Name-Calling Week
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Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Working with the Bullied Child
Research has revealed common characteristics and profiles among students who are repeatedly bullied. One group is referred to as passive (a.k.a. submissive) victims, another as provocative victims. Clarifying the behaviors of a student who is repeatedly bullied can lead to strategies that reduce victimization.
Passive victims signal, through attitude and behaviors, that they are insecure and will not respond strongly if bullied. They are often:
Provocative victims express behaviors that often irritate others and incite negative reactions. They often:
-Have poor social skills -- appear to instigate the bullying
-Are hyperactive, restless, and have difficulty concentrating
-Are clumsy, immature, and exhibit irritating habits
-Do not develop strong friendships
-Are hot-tempered and attempt to fight back, ineffectively and sometimes entertainingly, when victimized
-Pick on smaller kids
If the bullied child has traits familiar to either list, altering their behavior may help reduce further bullying and develop self-esteem, resiliency and empowerment - qualities that will limit further victimization.For instance, teach passive victims to respond assertively to bullies with details that include specific language and how to express confident body language, eye contact, and tone of voice. These students will also need to practice social skills and learn activities appreciated by peers.
Provocative victims also need to learn age appropriate skills. They will need help from a caring adult to become aware of behaviors that generate negative reactions from others. They may also need help with emotional management techniques.
Social skills training should be incorporated into behavior plans, classroom lessons, and IEPs (Individualized Education Plans).
Although some behaviors do perpetuate bullying, no one ever deserves to be bullied!
For more information and other bully prevention strategies, contact Balance Educational Services 1-802-362-5448 © 2008 www.BalanceEducationalServices.com
Passive victims signal, through attitude and behaviors, that they are insecure and will not respond strongly if bullied. They are often:
-Physically weaker than others their age
-Afraid of being hurt, have poor physical coordination and don't do well in sports
-Have poor social skills and have difficulty making friends
-Are cautious, sensitive, quiet, withdrawn and shy
-Are anxious, insecure, and cry or become upset easily
-Have poor self-esteem
-Have difficulty standing up for or defending themselves, physically and verbally
Provocative victims express behaviors that often irritate others and incite negative reactions. They often:
-Have poor social skills -- appear to instigate the bullying
-Are hyperactive, restless, and have difficulty concentrating
-Are clumsy, immature, and exhibit irritating habits
-Do not develop strong friendships
-Are hot-tempered and attempt to fight back, ineffectively and sometimes entertainingly, when victimized
-Pick on smaller kids
If the bullied child has traits familiar to either list, altering their behavior may help reduce further bullying and develop self-esteem, resiliency and empowerment - qualities that will limit further victimization.For instance, teach passive victims to respond assertively to bullies with details that include specific language and how to express confident body language, eye contact, and tone of voice. These students will also need to practice social skills and learn activities appreciated by peers.
Provocative victims also need to learn age appropriate skills. They will need help from a caring adult to become aware of behaviors that generate negative reactions from others. They may also need help with emotional management techniques.
Social skills training should be incorporated into behavior plans, classroom lessons, and IEPs (Individualized Education Plans).
Although some behaviors do perpetuate bullying, no one ever deserves to be bullied!
For more information and other bully prevention strategies, contact Balance Educational Services 1-802-362-5448 © 2008 www.BalanceEducationalServices.com
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
What Students Need to Know About Cyber Bullying
Cyber bullying is intentional wrongdoing and the cyber bully can be held responsible by a court of law under the following circumstances:
-Publishing a false statement about another which is damaging to their reputation
-Publicly disclosing a private fact about another
-Breaking into someone's account
-Purposely causing someone emotional distress
The following actions may be considered criminal, regardless if it happens online or directly:
-Making threats of violence to people or their property
-Trying to force someone to do something he or she doesn't want to do
-Sending obscene or harassing text messages, emails, pictures, telephone calls, etc.
-Harassment or stalking
-Creating or sending sexually explicit images of teens (considered child pornography even if sent by another child)
-Taking a photo of someone in place where privacy is expected (locker room, bathroom, etc.)
(c) 2009 http://rs6.net/tn.jsp?t=4enbmwcab.0.0.jt48c7bab.0&ts=S0385&p=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.balanceeducationalservices.com%2F&id=preview
Permission is granted to use this article with full credit.
For more information and other bully prevention strategies, contact Balance Educational Services at 1-802-362-5448 info@BalanceEducationalServices.com
Monday, June 1, 2009
Is Your Camp Staff Really Prepared to Stop Bullying???
It's that time of year... when parents are preparing to send 10 million of their children to summer camp. 1 in 5 American kids will be away from home this summer, facing everything from bug bites to bullying in the cabin.
That's right. Bullying - from gossiping, name-calling, and shunning to punching, hitting, and physical intimidation - isn't reserved for the schoolyard. It's a growing problem for summer camp directors, camp counselors, and the parents of their campers.
There is something camps can do about bullying. Mike Dreiblatt uses interactive techniques - such as role-playing and lots of audience participation - to help camp counselors and staff find the most effective ways to recognize, prevent, and stop bullying from "day one".
Why is bullying important right now? With an increase in bullying awareness, parents are anxious about sending their kids far away from home. They know that bullying not only undermines a child's self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe (physically and emotionally).
With a downturn in the economy, parents are also weighing how they spend money. The result? Parents wonder whether it's worth footing a summer camp's hefty bill.
Here's the good news! Camps that offer bullying prevention training reassure worried parents and campers that they are able to nip the problem in the bud. When campers have safe and happy times away from home, they thrive. When the summer camping experience is positive, camp reputations are strengthened, enrollments increase, and existing campers return year after year.
Balance Educational Services, a Manchester Center, Vermont-based consulting and training company, has provided custom-designed student presentations, staff workshops, and parent workshops to school systems and summer camps across the country. Its goal is to teach people how to recognize and minimize bullying and other forms of anti-social behavior in children and supervising adults.
That's right. Bullying - from gossiping, name-calling, and shunning to punching, hitting, and physical intimidation - isn't reserved for the schoolyard. It's a growing problem for summer camp directors, camp counselors, and the parents of their campers.
There is something camps can do about bullying. Mike Dreiblatt uses interactive techniques - such as role-playing and lots of audience participation - to help camp counselors and staff find the most effective ways to recognize, prevent, and stop bullying from "day one".
Why is bullying important right now? With an increase in bullying awareness, parents are anxious about sending their kids far away from home. They know that bullying not only undermines a child's self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe (physically and emotionally).
With a downturn in the economy, parents are also weighing how they spend money. The result? Parents wonder whether it's worth footing a summer camp's hefty bill.
Here's the good news! Camps that offer bullying prevention training reassure worried parents and campers that they are able to nip the problem in the bud. When campers have safe and happy times away from home, they thrive. When the summer camping experience is positive, camp reputations are strengthened, enrollments increase, and existing campers return year after year.
Balance Educational Services, a Manchester Center, Vermont-based consulting and training company, has provided custom-designed student presentations, staff workshops, and parent workshops to school systems and summer camps across the country. Its goal is to teach people how to recognize and minimize bullying and other forms of anti-social behavior in children and supervising adults.
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Celebrity Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana was bullied, too!
Celebrity Miley Cyrus aka Hannah Montana was bullied, too!
Our most popular blog hits are about celebrities who were bullied as children. Here’s another. Miley Cyrus is coming out with a memoir "Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go," and in the book the teen star describes in depth the bullying she received from the "the Anti-Miley Club" in her pre-teen years growing up in Tennessee.
"The girls took it beyond normal bullying. These were big, tough girls," Cyrus says in the book, which hit stores on Tuesday. "I was scrawny and short. They were fully capable of doing me bodily harm."
During one of those instances, the mean girls locked Miley in the bathroom during class. "They shoved me in. I was trapped. I banged on the door until my fists hurt. Nobody came," she writes. "I spent what felt like an hour in there, waiting for someone to rescue me, wondering how my life had gotten so messed up."
Miley also describes how the girls escalated their bullying on the future star by confronting her and challenging her to a fight. "It seemed like Operation Make Miley Miserable was escalating to a new level. More like Operation Take Miley Down," she recalls. "Three girls strutted up and stood towering over me. My stomach churned. I clutched my grilled-cheese sandwich like it was the hand of my best friend. It pretty much was my best friend those days. I was done for.
"They started cussing me and telling me to get up. I sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do," she continues about the incident, which ended when the principal stepped in. "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said, 'What's your problem? What did I ever do to you?' "
Her classmates also teased her about her family, telling her, "Your dad's a one-hit wonder. You'll never amount to anything — just like him."
Some celebrities were bullied as children and became celebrities as adults. Miley’s stories are examples of a talented person from a celebrity family getting picked on. Sharing these stories about a teen idol being bullied with a youngster who is experiencing bullying can help show that targets are not losers. Targets are just that…targets of people have a need to abuse another. Sometimes misery loves company and if the company is Miley Cyrus, it may be comforting to a target.
Also note that Miley finally stood up for herself in an assertive, yet non-violent manner. It will be interesting to find out more details when the book comes out – especially to find out how well her response to bullying worked. Remember, in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression--Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect, we provide many strategies on how a person can effectively stop bullying.
Let us know if you read the book and if any stories ring true to you.
Steve
Our most popular blog hits are about celebrities who were bullied as children. Here’s another. Miley Cyrus is coming out with a memoir "Miley Cyrus: Miles to Go," and in the book the teen star describes in depth the bullying she received from the "the Anti-Miley Club" in her pre-teen years growing up in Tennessee.
"The girls took it beyond normal bullying. These were big, tough girls," Cyrus says in the book, which hit stores on Tuesday. "I was scrawny and short. They were fully capable of doing me bodily harm."
During one of those instances, the mean girls locked Miley in the bathroom during class. "They shoved me in. I was trapped. I banged on the door until my fists hurt. Nobody came," she writes. "I spent what felt like an hour in there, waiting for someone to rescue me, wondering how my life had gotten so messed up."
Miley also describes how the girls escalated their bullying on the future star by confronting her and challenging her to a fight. "It seemed like Operation Make Miley Miserable was escalating to a new level. More like Operation Take Miley Down," she recalls. "Three girls strutted up and stood towering over me. My stomach churned. I clutched my grilled-cheese sandwich like it was the hand of my best friend. It pretty much was my best friend those days. I was done for.
"They started cussing me and telling me to get up. I sat there, frozen. I didn't know what to do," she continues about the incident, which ended when the principal stepped in. "Finally, I couldn't take it anymore. I wasn't chicken. What could they do to me? I was surrounded by people. I stood up, still a foot shorter then they were, and said, 'What's your problem? What did I ever do to you?' "
Her classmates also teased her about her family, telling her, "Your dad's a one-hit wonder. You'll never amount to anything — just like him."
Some celebrities were bullied as children and became celebrities as adults. Miley’s stories are examples of a talented person from a celebrity family getting picked on. Sharing these stories about a teen idol being bullied with a youngster who is experiencing bullying can help show that targets are not losers. Targets are just that…targets of people have a need to abuse another. Sometimes misery loves company and if the company is Miley Cyrus, it may be comforting to a target.
Also note that Miley finally stood up for herself in an assertive, yet non-violent manner. It will be interesting to find out more details when the book comes out – especially to find out how well her response to bullying worked. Remember, in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression--Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect, we provide many strategies on how a person can effectively stop bullying.
Let us know if you read the book and if any stories ring true to you.
Steve
Monday, January 12, 2009
Movie: An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong -- My thoughts
I recently viewed the movie An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong. It’s about a fourth grader and her friends who deal with bullying from a more popular girl in their class. I recommend it for kids between 2nd and 5th grade. Older kids might enjoy it, too, and I’m sure can relate to some of the bullying issues and how easily some adults just ‘miss’ the aggressive behaviors that is right in front of their face. Children, parents and educators can all learn good bully prevention strategies which is the strong point of this movie.
The bullying was realistic and showed examples of physical, verbal, social and cyber bullying. Some of the bullying was more sophisticated than average 4th graders might express, but then again, some bullies are way above average. Chrissa, the main victim, and other victims were typical 4th grade girls who, realistically, didn’t know how to deal with the situation. The bullying continued until situations had risen to a level whereby parents and teachers had to be involved. Often, the kids themselves made some very good choices, too, to stop the bullying.
The adults didn’t handle the situations very well at first. For instance, trying to find out who the main culprit was in a given situation, the principal and classroom teacher asked the students for information while all the students - victims, aggressors, and bystanders - were all together. Of course, no one was willing to risk speaking up. Separate discussions would be much more effective. Also, some of the consequences imparted on the aggressors had nothing to do with the bullying. I would have liked to see consequences that would teach pro-social behaviors and empathy instead of suspension and ‘towel clean-up’ that had nothing to do with the offense. Changing behavior and/or teaching replacement skills is a lot more effective in stopping a bully from bullying again. Of course, if the adults had taught all the students how to react to bullying before bullying began, and/or had ‘nipped’ the bullying in the bud before it got severe, this would have been a very short movie.
The movie accurately expressed how confusing a bullying situation can be for any young child. Without information and strategies to deal with bullying, the children in this movie used trial and error solutions such as hiding in toilet stalls, staying home from school, and avoiding after school activities. They were also hesitant to talk to adults. Fortunately, it addressed these realistic responses with ultimately having the children learn that talking to an adult is not tattling, but asking for help. Ultimately, the adults were very helpful. To move the story along, the writer had them be somewhat clueless and naïve at first, but they were always supportive and came through in the end to help the victims.
The movie is enjoyable to watch and many youngsters will be able to relate to the storyline. I recommend the movie as an opportunity to discuss bullying with children and strategies they can implement if they are bullied or witness bullying. In real life, we want kids and adults to know how to stop bullying before it becomes an abusive situation that last for weeks. At the risk of being self-serving, using the lessons and activities in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression would help children learn the skills the characters in the movie would have appreciated, such as how to stand up to a bully, how to stop a peer from bullying another, and how to determine when talking to an adult is telling and not tattling.
Check out the table of contents of our book to get idea of what skills kids need to develop to stop bullying. Or, for sample lessons go to http://balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html
If you saw the movie, share your thoughts.
Steve
The bullying was realistic and showed examples of physical, verbal, social and cyber bullying. Some of the bullying was more sophisticated than average 4th graders might express, but then again, some bullies are way above average. Chrissa, the main victim, and other victims were typical 4th grade girls who, realistically, didn’t know how to deal with the situation. The bullying continued until situations had risen to a level whereby parents and teachers had to be involved. Often, the kids themselves made some very good choices, too, to stop the bullying.
The adults didn’t handle the situations very well at first. For instance, trying to find out who the main culprit was in a given situation, the principal and classroom teacher asked the students for information while all the students - victims, aggressors, and bystanders - were all together. Of course, no one was willing to risk speaking up. Separate discussions would be much more effective. Also, some of the consequences imparted on the aggressors had nothing to do with the bullying. I would have liked to see consequences that would teach pro-social behaviors and empathy instead of suspension and ‘towel clean-up’ that had nothing to do with the offense. Changing behavior and/or teaching replacement skills is a lot more effective in stopping a bully from bullying again. Of course, if the adults had taught all the students how to react to bullying before bullying began, and/or had ‘nipped’ the bullying in the bud before it got severe, this would have been a very short movie.
The movie accurately expressed how confusing a bullying situation can be for any young child. Without information and strategies to deal with bullying, the children in this movie used trial and error solutions such as hiding in toilet stalls, staying home from school, and avoiding after school activities. They were also hesitant to talk to adults. Fortunately, it addressed these realistic responses with ultimately having the children learn that talking to an adult is not tattling, but asking for help. Ultimately, the adults were very helpful. To move the story along, the writer had them be somewhat clueless and naïve at first, but they were always supportive and came through in the end to help the victims.
The movie is enjoyable to watch and many youngsters will be able to relate to the storyline. I recommend the movie as an opportunity to discuss bullying with children and strategies they can implement if they are bullied or witness bullying. In real life, we want kids and adults to know how to stop bullying before it becomes an abusive situation that last for weeks. At the risk of being self-serving, using the lessons and activities in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression would help children learn the skills the characters in the movie would have appreciated, such as how to stand up to a bully, how to stop a peer from bullying another, and how to determine when talking to an adult is telling and not tattling.
Check out the table of contents of our book to get idea of what skills kids need to develop to stop bullying. Or, for sample lessons go to http://balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html
If you saw the movie, share your thoughts.
Steve
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