School Shooting in Tennessee on August 21, 2008

It is the beginning of the school year and all too soon there has been a school shooting - an incident in Knoxville, TN on August 21, 2008. The news out of Knoxville is somewhat unique. Research indicates that “In… more than . . . two-thirds of 37 shootings, the attackers felt ‘persecuted, bullied, threatened, attacked, or injured by others,’ and that revenge was an underlying motive” (Lyznicki, McCaffree, & Robinowitz, 2004). Yet news reports indicate that in this case, the victim, Ryan McDonald, is the one who had been bullied. Ryan had alopecia, a condition that left him bald since he was 3 and the target of endless teasing as a child.

If it is true that Ryan had been teased for 12 years it was just a matter of time until something tragic occurred. The ramifications of being chronically bullied include depression, anxiety, eating and sleeping disorders, self-mutilation, alcohol and drug abuse, violence and suicide. Students who exhibit long-term bullying behavior are also at great risk of dangerous behaviors.

For these and other ethical considerations, most states have laws that address bullying in school. While some of these laws are still a work in progress, the laws are a great first step. But these laws need to be followed up with training for all school staff that includes practical strategies to keep all students safe; physically and emotionally, and maintain an effective academic environment.

One effective strategy is training staff in a carefully designed four-step response to any student(s) bullying another. This response takes between 10-30 seconds and is designed to “nip bullying in the bud.” In other words, stopping bullying, social aggression and other hurtful behavior before the situation becomes chronic and a tragedy occurs. Confidence in using this 4-step response can go a long way in fulfilling goals of bully prevention laws as well as educational requirements about teaching students respect and citizenship.

First, all staff need to know what specific behaviors they are required to address, i.e. examples of physical, verbal, cyber bullying and social aggression.

When staff see or hear bullying and other hurtful behavior, they need to:
1. Stop the bullying behavior
2. Identify the specific behavior that is hurtful and unacceptable
3. Remind the student of the school’s expectation
4. Remind the student of the behavioral expectation (a replacement behavior, as appropriate).

For example, if a staff member heard a student belittling another student, the staff can state, in an authoritative yet respectful tone, the following:
1. Stop talking right now.
2. The way you were talking was insulting.
3. In this school, we don’t talk to people in a mean way.
4. When you talk to someone, say positive things. Do you understand? Good, let’s get to class.

Granted, this strategy won’t solve every problem, and staff needs to know how to respond if a student continues to be hurtful. However, most students do respond to strong, responsible leadership by adults and will comply.

There is no one solution to stop all bullying, but a consistent response from staff members will create a school culture where all students know that hurtful behavior will not be tolerated. When no one accepts 12 years of merciless teasing, perhaps we can prevent such tragedies from recurring. For more information on how to prevent bullying, visit the bullying experts at http://www.balanceeducationalservices.com/.

Our New Book Is Now Available!

Our new book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression: Elementary Grade Lessons That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect, has hit the shelves of bookstores and has gotten great reviews. Take a look at what noted authors James Garbarino (And Words Can Hurt Forever & Lost Boys), Cheryl Delasega (Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, & Mean Girls Grown Up) and Alan Beane (The Bully Free Program) had to say:

“Once educators appreciate the psychological and social significance of bullying, harassment and emotional violence in school they are ready to translate that awareness into concrete actions to change the direction of social climate in the classroom, in the hallways, in the cafeteria, in the gym, and on the playground. This is where How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression comes in. In it Breakstone and his colleagues offer a well grounded strategy and a series of tactical exercises designed to accomplish this critical mission. I recommend it!” James Garbarino, PhD, Director, Center for the Human Rights of Children at Loyola University Chicago and author of And Words Can Hurt Forever: How to Protect Adolescents from Bullying, Harassment, and Emotional Violence & Lost Boys: Why Our Sons Turn Violent & How We Can Save Them

“The founders of Balance Educational Services have provided a practical book packed with the kinds of anti-bullying strategies teachers, coaches, therapists, and kids regularly request. Rather than cite statistics and share stories, these authors hit the ground running by encouraging both adults and youth to take action. Every chapter is packed with tips on how to stay physically and emotionally safe when bullying occurs. Using a dynamic and interactive style, children are coached to practice assertive behaviors and avoid the victim role. The authors’ guide to understanding friendship qualities will help many children recognize more subtle and social forms of aggression. Throughout, realistic drawings offer additional clarification. Aimed at younger students, the numerous easy-to-implement activities involve appropriate humor, engagement of the group, and a clear approach to understanding and responding to bullying. Students can keep the lists of common conflict situations and assertive communication statements handy as prompts or for practice.” Cheryl Dellasega, Ph.D., Professor, Department of Humanities, Penn State College of Medicine and Professor of Women's Studies at Penn State University, Founder of Club Ophelia and author of Surviving Ophelia, Girl Wars, & Mean Girls Grown Up

“This timely book includes perfectly sequenced, content enriched and practical lessons that will enhance any anti-bullying effort. The student-focused activities will facilitate and maintain learning of important anti-bullying concepts that can never be over emphasized.” Allan L. Beane, Ph.D., Founder and President, Bully Free Systems, LLC, and author of The Bully Free Program

Our new book will be here soon!

Our new book, How to Stop Bullying & Social Aggression: Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect, provides practical, solutions-oriented strategies to reduce bullying among children and adolescents. The book’s lessons and activities are easy-to-use, fun and interactive, and include a variety of scripts and other helpful tools that engage honest dialogues and teach pro-social skills that replace bullying and other hurtful behaviors. How to Stop Bullying & Social Aggression will be released on August 11, 2008.

Kick-start a Healthy School Year by Preventing Bullying and Encouraging Respect and Empathy

Press Release: Manchester, VT

Back-to-school season is filled with anxieties about new teachers, increased workloads and, often, how to avoid the dreaded classroom bullies.

Although boys have the reputation of being more physical and girls more verbal, all children have the potential to bully physically, verbally, socially, and through the use of technology (cyber-bullying). Although bullying peaks between fifth grade and ninth grade, it is reported at all ages.

“Today, bullying frequently involves mean words, starting rumors or excluding a classmate from a certain clique,” said Steve Breakstone, co-founder of Balance Educational Services and co-author of the new book, How to Stop Bullying & Social Aggression: Elementary Grade Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship, and Respect.

“Ongoing bullying can lead to low self-esteem, criminal activity, domestic violence, suicide, and other self-destructive behaviors,” Breakstone continued.

“Bullying has been the root cause of a number of recent school shootings, including the terrifying incident at Columbine High School,” said Michael Dreiblatt, co-founder of Balance Educational Services and co-author of How to Stop Bullying & Social Aggression.

“The truth is that school violence is on the rise, and our educators and parents have to be pro-active about identifying – and modifying – bullying behavior,” Dreiblatt continued.

School administrators, teachers and staff should look for “warning signs” that students are bullying or being bullied, including:

• Diminishing grades
• Increased absenteeism
• Few friends and social networks
• Changes in attitude towards school, schoolmates and adults.
  
  

Parents of bullies may notice some of the following behaviors in their child:

• A need to dominate friends, schoolmates and siblings
• Bragging about superiority over others
• Oppositional, defiant, and aggressive behavior toward adults, including teachers and parents.
  
  

Parents of bullied children will notice major behavioral changes in their children, including:

• Personality
• Wardrobe
• Make-up
• Eating habits
• Sleeping patterns
• Anxiety levels
• Time spent alone
• Amount of time spent crying
• Other dramatic changes.
  
  

Important strategies to stop bullying in school include:

• Creating a school-wide “same page” understanding of what bullying behavior includes
• Teaching all staff to consistently respond to all bullying behaviors (i.e. “nip it in the bud”
• Teaching pro-social behaviors such as respect, empathy, and assertiveness
• Teaching and practicing pro-social skills
• Increasing adult supervision, especially in unstructured areas of the school.
• Providing appropriate role-models to teach bullies and targets new behaviors.
  

Bullying, if not handled correctly during the formative years, frequently leads to long-term problems in both the bully and the target. Bullying not only undermines a child’s self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe. Bullies are more likely to use alcohol and drugs, as well as face legal or criminal problems later in life. Targets often suffer from anxiety, depression, lack of focus and low self-esteem. These behaviors can also seep into the adult years and affect workplace interactions.

Research shows that schools with a unified violence prevention program cut their incidents of violence up to 70 percent and increased their academic standing. Visit http://www.balanceeducationalservices.com/ to learn more solutions to Stop Bullying Now!