Empathy is the ability to feel what others are feeling. Empathy is the identification with, and the understanding of, another's situation, emotions and motives. In other words, it is the ability to see the world through that person's eyes. Empathy influences us to treat others with respect and kindness; in turn it reduces violence and cruelty to others.
Most people are born with the ability to be empathetic. However, certain life experience can diminish that ability. Children who have experienced domestic violence or some other form of abuse are especially at-risk for diminished empathy.
Research supports the provision of empathy training to increase empathetic feelings and pro-social behavior. Research also shows an impressive correlation between students' training and skills in empathetic understanding and their academic performance.
Click Here for Empathy Lesson Plans!
Showing posts with label empathy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label empathy. Show all posts
Monday, July 6, 2009
Monday, June 1, 2009
Is Your Camp Staff Really Prepared to Stop Bullying???
It's that time of year... when parents are preparing to send 10 million of their children to summer camp. 1 in 5 American kids will be away from home this summer, facing everything from bug bites to bullying in the cabin.
That's right. Bullying - from gossiping, name-calling, and shunning to punching, hitting, and physical intimidation - isn't reserved for the schoolyard. It's a growing problem for summer camp directors, camp counselors, and the parents of their campers.
There is something camps can do about bullying. Mike Dreiblatt uses interactive techniques - such as role-playing and lots of audience participation - to help camp counselors and staff find the most effective ways to recognize, prevent, and stop bullying from "day one".
Why is bullying important right now? With an increase in bullying awareness, parents are anxious about sending their kids far away from home. They know that bullying not only undermines a child's self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe (physically and emotionally).
With a downturn in the economy, parents are also weighing how they spend money. The result? Parents wonder whether it's worth footing a summer camp's hefty bill.
Here's the good news! Camps that offer bullying prevention training reassure worried parents and campers that they are able to nip the problem in the bud. When campers have safe and happy times away from home, they thrive. When the summer camping experience is positive, camp reputations are strengthened, enrollments increase, and existing campers return year after year.
Balance Educational Services, a Manchester Center, Vermont-based consulting and training company, has provided custom-designed student presentations, staff workshops, and parent workshops to school systems and summer camps across the country. Its goal is to teach people how to recognize and minimize bullying and other forms of anti-social behavior in children and supervising adults.
That's right. Bullying - from gossiping, name-calling, and shunning to punching, hitting, and physical intimidation - isn't reserved for the schoolyard. It's a growing problem for summer camp directors, camp counselors, and the parents of their campers.
There is something camps can do about bullying. Mike Dreiblatt uses interactive techniques - such as role-playing and lots of audience participation - to help camp counselors and staff find the most effective ways to recognize, prevent, and stop bullying from "day one".
Why is bullying important right now? With an increase in bullying awareness, parents are anxious about sending their kids far away from home. They know that bullying not only undermines a child's self-worth but also makes the target feel intimidated, threatened, unsupported, and unsafe (physically and emotionally).
With a downturn in the economy, parents are also weighing how they spend money. The result? Parents wonder whether it's worth footing a summer camp's hefty bill.
Here's the good news! Camps that offer bullying prevention training reassure worried parents and campers that they are able to nip the problem in the bud. When campers have safe and happy times away from home, they thrive. When the summer camping experience is positive, camp reputations are strengthened, enrollments increase, and existing campers return year after year.
Balance Educational Services, a Manchester Center, Vermont-based consulting and training company, has provided custom-designed student presentations, staff workshops, and parent workshops to school systems and summer camps across the country. Its goal is to teach people how to recognize and minimize bullying and other forms of anti-social behavior in children and supervising adults.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Movie: An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong -- My thoughts
I recently viewed the movie An American Girl: Chrissa Stands Strong. It’s about a fourth grader and her friends who deal with bullying from a more popular girl in their class. I recommend it for kids between 2nd and 5th grade. Older kids might enjoy it, too, and I’m sure can relate to some of the bullying issues and how easily some adults just ‘miss’ the aggressive behaviors that is right in front of their face. Children, parents and educators can all learn good bully prevention strategies which is the strong point of this movie.
The bullying was realistic and showed examples of physical, verbal, social and cyber bullying. Some of the bullying was more sophisticated than average 4th graders might express, but then again, some bullies are way above average. Chrissa, the main victim, and other victims were typical 4th grade girls who, realistically, didn’t know how to deal with the situation. The bullying continued until situations had risen to a level whereby parents and teachers had to be involved. Often, the kids themselves made some very good choices, too, to stop the bullying.
The adults didn’t handle the situations very well at first. For instance, trying to find out who the main culprit was in a given situation, the principal and classroom teacher asked the students for information while all the students - victims, aggressors, and bystanders - were all together. Of course, no one was willing to risk speaking up. Separate discussions would be much more effective. Also, some of the consequences imparted on the aggressors had nothing to do with the bullying. I would have liked to see consequences that would teach pro-social behaviors and empathy instead of suspension and ‘towel clean-up’ that had nothing to do with the offense. Changing behavior and/or teaching replacement skills is a lot more effective in stopping a bully from bullying again. Of course, if the adults had taught all the students how to react to bullying before bullying began, and/or had ‘nipped’ the bullying in the bud before it got severe, this would have been a very short movie.
The movie accurately expressed how confusing a bullying situation can be for any young child. Without information and strategies to deal with bullying, the children in this movie used trial and error solutions such as hiding in toilet stalls, staying home from school, and avoiding after school activities. They were also hesitant to talk to adults. Fortunately, it addressed these realistic responses with ultimately having the children learn that talking to an adult is not tattling, but asking for help. Ultimately, the adults were very helpful. To move the story along, the writer had them be somewhat clueless and naïve at first, but they were always supportive and came through in the end to help the victims.
The movie is enjoyable to watch and many youngsters will be able to relate to the storyline. I recommend the movie as an opportunity to discuss bullying with children and strategies they can implement if they are bullied or witness bullying. In real life, we want kids and adults to know how to stop bullying before it becomes an abusive situation that last for weeks. At the risk of being self-serving, using the lessons and activities in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression would help children learn the skills the characters in the movie would have appreciated, such as how to stand up to a bully, how to stop a peer from bullying another, and how to determine when talking to an adult is telling and not tattling.
Check out the table of contents of our book to get idea of what skills kids need to develop to stop bullying. Or, for sample lessons go to http://balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html
If you saw the movie, share your thoughts.
Steve
The bullying was realistic and showed examples of physical, verbal, social and cyber bullying. Some of the bullying was more sophisticated than average 4th graders might express, but then again, some bullies are way above average. Chrissa, the main victim, and other victims were typical 4th grade girls who, realistically, didn’t know how to deal with the situation. The bullying continued until situations had risen to a level whereby parents and teachers had to be involved. Often, the kids themselves made some very good choices, too, to stop the bullying.
The adults didn’t handle the situations very well at first. For instance, trying to find out who the main culprit was in a given situation, the principal and classroom teacher asked the students for information while all the students - victims, aggressors, and bystanders - were all together. Of course, no one was willing to risk speaking up. Separate discussions would be much more effective. Also, some of the consequences imparted on the aggressors had nothing to do with the bullying. I would have liked to see consequences that would teach pro-social behaviors and empathy instead of suspension and ‘towel clean-up’ that had nothing to do with the offense. Changing behavior and/or teaching replacement skills is a lot more effective in stopping a bully from bullying again. Of course, if the adults had taught all the students how to react to bullying before bullying began, and/or had ‘nipped’ the bullying in the bud before it got severe, this would have been a very short movie.
The movie accurately expressed how confusing a bullying situation can be for any young child. Without information and strategies to deal with bullying, the children in this movie used trial and error solutions such as hiding in toilet stalls, staying home from school, and avoiding after school activities. They were also hesitant to talk to adults. Fortunately, it addressed these realistic responses with ultimately having the children learn that talking to an adult is not tattling, but asking for help. Ultimately, the adults were very helpful. To move the story along, the writer had them be somewhat clueless and naïve at first, but they were always supportive and came through in the end to help the victims.
The movie is enjoyable to watch and many youngsters will be able to relate to the storyline. I recommend the movie as an opportunity to discuss bullying with children and strategies they can implement if they are bullied or witness bullying. In real life, we want kids and adults to know how to stop bullying before it becomes an abusive situation that last for weeks. At the risk of being self-serving, using the lessons and activities in our book How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression would help children learn the skills the characters in the movie would have appreciated, such as how to stand up to a bully, how to stop a peer from bullying another, and how to determine when talking to an adult is telling and not tattling.
Check out the table of contents of our book to get idea of what skills kids need to develop to stop bullying. Or, for sample lessons go to http://balanceeducationalservices.com/resources.html
If you saw the movie, share your thoughts.
Steve
Friday, January 2, 2009
Radio Interview Posted
Happy New Year everyone!
We have a new 20 minute radio interview posted to our website. It’s a clear, concise and interesting (even if I say so myself) interview by veteran radio man Rich Ryder of WBTN in Vermont, USA. On our "media page" click on the link under "Hear Mike and Steve" that reads "Radio Interview - WBTN."
Feel free to share the interview with any friends, or friends who have children or students, who are having issues with bullying.
We wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009
Steve
We have a new 20 minute radio interview posted to our website. It’s a clear, concise and interesting (even if I say so myself) interview by veteran radio man Rich Ryder of WBTN in Vermont, USA. On our "media page" click on the link under "Hear Mike and Steve" that reads "Radio Interview - WBTN."
Feel free to share the interview with any friends, or friends who have children or students, who are having issues with bullying.
We wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous 2009
Steve
Friday, December 19, 2008
Boy Breaks Gender Barrier to Compete at Apollo Theater
Today's online version of the NY Times features of video of ZeAndre Orr, a Brownsville 5th grader at P.S 323, who weathered physical bullying and verbal harassment to follow his heart and join his school's double dutch jump rope team. Double dutch jump rope has long been a largely female sport and ZeAndre is one of only two male jumpers on his school's team.
Name calling, pushing, shoving, and tripping followed ZeAndre's decision to join the team. At one point, he was kicked down a flight of stairs. Although ZeAndre did consider quiting to avoid the bullying and harassment, he persisted in his dedication to the sport. ZeAndre was rewarded for his efforts with admittance into the annual Holiday Classic Double Dutch Competition at the famed Apollo Theater, one of the largest double dutch competitions in the country. Only the best jumpers from P.S. 323 were chosen to represent their school at the competition.
I really admire ZeAndre for not allowing others to keep him from participating in his chosen activity. As educators, we try to encourage children to find an activity they truly enjoy and pursue it with passion. It isn't easy to do this when there is community prejudice or a lack of support. Back when I was growing up, girls who wanted to participate in "boy" sports, such as soccer or baseball, were regularly taunted. Whether you are a girl breaking into a "boy " sport, or a boy breaking into a "girl" sport, the road to admittance is a tough one.
Of course, sports are not the only activities children can pursue. Art, music, writing, hiking, and woodcraft are just some of the additional possibilities. For ways to encourage your child to find their own niche, check the parent and student links on our Resources Page, have your school book a Parenting a Well Rounded Child workshop, or see our book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression: Elementary Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect.
To see the video about ZeAndre Orr, click here:
http://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/12/18/nyregion/1194835807850/brooklyns-jazzy-jumpers.html?th&emc=th.
Do you, your child or someone you know have experience in breaking gender boundaries? I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Karen
Name calling, pushing, shoving, and tripping followed ZeAndre's decision to join the team. At one point, he was kicked down a flight of stairs. Although ZeAndre did consider quiting to avoid the bullying and harassment, he persisted in his dedication to the sport. ZeAndre was rewarded for his efforts with admittance into the annual Holiday Classic Double Dutch Competition at the famed Apollo Theater, one of the largest double dutch competitions in the country. Only the best jumpers from P.S. 323 were chosen to represent their school at the competition.
I really admire ZeAndre for not allowing others to keep him from participating in his chosen activity. As educators, we try to encourage children to find an activity they truly enjoy and pursue it with passion. It isn't easy to do this when there is community prejudice or a lack of support. Back when I was growing up, girls who wanted to participate in "boy" sports, such as soccer or baseball, were regularly taunted. Whether you are a girl breaking into a "boy " sport, or a boy breaking into a "girl" sport, the road to admittance is a tough one.
Of course, sports are not the only activities children can pursue. Art, music, writing, hiking, and woodcraft are just some of the additional possibilities. For ways to encourage your child to find their own niche, check the parent and student links on our Resources Page, have your school book a Parenting a Well Rounded Child workshop, or see our book, How to Stop Bullying and Social Aggression: Elementary Lessons and Activities That Teach Empathy, Friendship and Respect.
To see the video about ZeAndre Orr, click here:
http://video.nytimes.com/video/2008/12/18/nyregion/1194835807850/brooklyns-jazzy-jumpers.html?th&emc=th.
Do you, your child or someone you know have experience in breaking gender boundaries? I'd love to hear what you have to say.
Karen
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Another Celebrity Steps Up to Stop Bullying
We get a lot of hits when we write about celebrities and bullying. Here's another story:
Lord of the Rings star Sir Ian McKellen went back to his home town in Wigan, UK to help a school launch a project to combat homophobic bullying (article). He’s working with a charity to promote safe and inclusive learning environments for youngsters and establish practical methods of addressing homophobia in schools.
Let’s hope that Gandalf the Wizard and/or Magneto (in the X-Men movies) can influence the kids to be more respectful and tolerant. Hollywood can influence kids to be naughty or nice. Here’s another example of using star-power for good.
If any of our UK readers have more details about Sir Ian's involvement with his hometown schools, please send it along.
Send any stories about celebrities helping to stop bullying. We'll post them.
Steve
Lord of the Rings star Sir Ian McKellen went back to his home town in Wigan, UK to help a school launch a project to combat homophobic bullying (article). He’s working with a charity to promote safe and inclusive learning environments for youngsters and establish practical methods of addressing homophobia in schools.
Let’s hope that Gandalf the Wizard and/or Magneto (in the X-Men movies) can influence the kids to be more respectful and tolerant. Hollywood can influence kids to be naughty or nice. Here’s another example of using star-power for good.
If any of our UK readers have more details about Sir Ian's involvement with his hometown schools, please send it along.
Send any stories about celebrities helping to stop bullying. We'll post them.
Steve
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Kids Helping Bullied Kids
Kids are a big part of any bully prevention strategy.
Mike and I teach students how to stop bullying, not only if they are the victim, but if they see, hear or know about bullying towards others. Bystanders of bullying are the largest constituent of the bullying dynamic.
We teach students how to stop another from bullying, peacefully, safely and with limited risk to their social status. Choices include:
1. Tell the bullies to stop
2. Separate the bullies away from the person being bullied
3. Separate the person being bullied away from the bullies
4. Report to a trusted adult (it’s not tattling if you are helping someone)
There are other options, too. I came across two stories that are great examples of kids helping bullied kids.
The first story (Bully Control) is about a girl, Olivia, who had been directly bullied and cyber bullied. Two teen sisters from another school heard about this girl through a story in the San Francisco Chronicle. They launched a letter-writing campaign in which their classmates would write letters of encouragement to this girl. The idea gained popularity and more schools became involved. Then the media began reporting on Olivia's plight and the girls' campaign. Letters and e-mails poured in from all over the world with best wishes for Olivia.
The article included the steps the sisters had to go through, including working with adults, to lend support in a very compassionate and respectful manner. These steps would be helpful if you wanted to help kids do a similar act of kindness. P.S. This campaign of compassion was so successful they published a book called "Letters to a Bullied Girl: Messages of Healing and Hope."
The 2nd story is titled “Schools Awash in Pink Thursday for Stand Up to Bullying Day.” After a 9th grader was picked on for wearing a pink shirt on the first day of school last year at Central Kings School in Canada, two 12th grade students decided to take a stand against bullying. These students went out and bought pink shirts and gave them out to their classmates at their school, who wore them en masse to support the student who had been bullied and to send a message to bullies everywhere – back off. Since then, Stand Up Against Bullying Day was proclaimed by Premier Rodney MacDonald of Nova Scotia, Canada.
This particular story is from September, yet articles about schools with students taking similar initiatives (for instance, Students Wear Pink to Oppose Bullying) continue to come across my computer screen.
Teaching kids to help kids is a great bully prevention technique and can make every day ‘Stand up to a Bully’ day.
Balance Educational Services encourages you to share these stories with your students or children. It’s a great way to teach and reinforce empathy and social responsibility.
Please write us if you know of students who are doing other bully prevention activities. We’ll pass it along.
Steve
Mike and I teach students how to stop bullying, not only if they are the victim, but if they see, hear or know about bullying towards others. Bystanders of bullying are the largest constituent of the bullying dynamic.
We teach students how to stop another from bullying, peacefully, safely and with limited risk to their social status. Choices include:
1. Tell the bullies to stop
2. Separate the bullies away from the person being bullied
3. Separate the person being bullied away from the bullies
4. Report to a trusted adult (it’s not tattling if you are helping someone)
There are other options, too. I came across two stories that are great examples of kids helping bullied kids.
The first story (Bully Control) is about a girl, Olivia, who had been directly bullied and cyber bullied. Two teen sisters from another school heard about this girl through a story in the San Francisco Chronicle. They launched a letter-writing campaign in which their classmates would write letters of encouragement to this girl. The idea gained popularity and more schools became involved. Then the media began reporting on Olivia's plight and the girls' campaign. Letters and e-mails poured in from all over the world with best wishes for Olivia.
The article included the steps the sisters had to go through, including working with adults, to lend support in a very compassionate and respectful manner. These steps would be helpful if you wanted to help kids do a similar act of kindness. P.S. This campaign of compassion was so successful they published a book called "Letters to a Bullied Girl: Messages of Healing and Hope."
The 2nd story is titled “Schools Awash in Pink Thursday for Stand Up to Bullying Day.” After a 9th grader was picked on for wearing a pink shirt on the first day of school last year at Central Kings School in Canada, two 12th grade students decided to take a stand against bullying. These students went out and bought pink shirts and gave them out to their classmates at their school, who wore them en masse to support the student who had been bullied and to send a message to bullies everywhere – back off. Since then, Stand Up Against Bullying Day was proclaimed by Premier Rodney MacDonald of Nova Scotia, Canada.
This particular story is from September, yet articles about schools with students taking similar initiatives (for instance, Students Wear Pink to Oppose Bullying) continue to come across my computer screen.
Teaching kids to help kids is a great bully prevention technique and can make every day ‘Stand up to a Bully’ day.
Balance Educational Services encourages you to share these stories with your students or children. It’s a great way to teach and reinforce empathy and social responsibility.
Please write us if you know of students who are doing other bully prevention activities. We’ll pass it along.
Steve
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